Conflicted: A Reylo Fanfic

Stolen Memories

Rey sat up in the bed and looked around the empty room. She'd only been on the Finalizer two standard solar days, and already she felt like breaking something. Problem was, there wasn't anything to break. The entire contents of Kylo's quarters made for a very brief list indeed: bed, table, 2 chairs. There weren't any colors—even the bed linens were in shades of gray—or hints of individualism to be found.

There was a wardrobe in the adjoining room, but it wasn't exactly filled to the brim with the vast assortment of his clothes. Instead, it consisted of a black cloak, the spare to the one that was currently gracing his broad shoulders, two black tunics, a thick, armored overtunic in black of course, two black pants, a wide black belt, and two pairs of black boots. Her own clothing choices had always been limited, too, but out of scarcity of resources. Not having been afflicted by that particular issue, Rey could only assume Kylo simply suffered from a severe lack of sartorial imagination.

What made all of that worse was that Rey was now being subjected to that lack as well. Having left all her possessions in her little clunker of a shuttle on Crait, Rey had been forced to accept the clothing Kylo had located for her. But, being a military ship, the options were limited. Like Kylo, she was now dressed all in black, the long sleeved shirt and pants normally worn beneath stormtrooper armor serving quite comfortably but also constantly reminding her of where she was.

Not that she could tell, really. Other than during her initial arrival on board, she had seen nothing more of the command ship than she could see right now. She had been entirely confined to Kylo's quarters for the past two days and had every reason to expect she would continue to be so confined for...when? Ever? She didn't know, couldn't know how long the current state of affairs would continue.

Despite her internal grumbling, though, Rey had to admit that things could be worse. It was clear she was under the protection of the Emperor since the only individuals she had encountered had been quite deferential to her. She knew she should be grateful she was being kept under guard in Kylo's quarters rather than a prison cell somewhere, but she had a difficult time embracing her fortune when she was subjected to constantly alternating states of boredom and angst, depending on whether or not Kylo was present.

Try though she might, she still couldn't shake the intuition that he knew something of her past that he wasn't telling her. It simply didn't make sense to her that Cerisse would know something about her that he didn't. She couldn't understand why he persisted in pretending that he didn't know anything, and his constant attempts to get her to look into his mind to confirm his innocence for herself only infuriated her all the more. Helpless to stop it, she felt herself pulling further and further away from him. The first night, she laid curled in his bed, facing the wall and flinching every time he touched her, whether inadvertently or not. The second night, he'd given up all pretenses and settled himself on the floor. Although she'd been grateful for his choice, she never said anything about it.

When she'd awoken before him today, she'd gazed down at him on the floor, noticing the pinch of his brow that indicated his consternation, even in his sleep. She felt her heart weighing heavy in her chest as she recalled the moments of affection and tenderness they had shared on Crait, recalling the buoyant sense of joy she'd experienced on those occasions. She longed for its return, to embrace him and feel what she'd felt so strongly only a few days ago, but she couldn't fathom how. The sense of betrayal at his refusal to admit what he knew of her was simply too deep, too painful, and she didn't know how to overcome this obstacle. So she had pulled back from the edge of the bed, curling into herself once more, and pretended to be asleep until at last he left the room to attend to whatever it was that the emperor of an evil empire did with his days.