Miserable at best

one more light

who cares when someone's time runs out?
if a moment is all we are
we're quicker, quicker
who cares if one more light goes out?
well I do
-linkin park
one more light

luke woke up terrified. he was scared michael would find out that he's not eating, luke knew michael would be mad he didnt come to him because michael struggled with bulimia when they were in high school. but luke was also scared ashton would find out and think he was a freak and not want to be his friend or maybe more. luke liked ashton, a lot and he was terrified that ashton won't like him back if he saw luke for what he truly was, fat and ugly. he also felt like he was going to throw up again but this had become a new normal for him. he thinks it's his body adjusting to slowly getting skinnier because he can see very small improvements when in reality he looks like a walking skeleton underneath the hoody and sweatpants he was always seen in.

ashton was sitting on his bathroom floor with a blade in his hand and his arms bleeding. he couldn't shake the feeling that penguinlover69 was luke, his luke but he kept pushing that thought to the back of his head. he sighed and picked up his phone, needing someone.

luke's phone was suddenly vibrating like crazy and he warily picked it up seeing he had multiple missed messages from his nameless friend.

idontknow69: luke i need help
idontknow69: i want to die so bad
idontknow69: were getting so close to telling our friends but i want this so end
idontknow69: i'm sorry you don't need to hear this

luke didn't think he had ever typed faster than he did in that moment

pengiunlover69: don't do anything stupid

idontknow69: i kinda already did

pengiunlover69: where are you, what'd you do

idontknow69: i'm in my bathroom , i cut. it won't stop bleeding. i don't know what to do

pengiunlover69: can you tell a friend or a family member

idontknow69: i don't wanna tell my friends

pengiunlover69: do you want to die

idontknow69: kinda. i don't know

pengiunlover69: you need to tell someone love

pengiunlover69: like now

luke's phone started ringing and he sighed. not in the mood to talk to someone but his attitude quickly changed when he saw that it was ashton.

"l-luke" ashton said, obviously crying

"yeah ash?" luke said getting worried with ashton's tone

"i did something really fucking stupid and i need your help" ashton said taking a very long time to tell luke the simple sentence.

luke's stomach dropped. it couldn't be.
"what'd you do ash?" luke asked nervously

"i-i cut. it won't stop bleeding" ashton hiccuped, luke quickly got up from where he was sitting and started walking to ashton's room. trying to stay as calm as possible luke replied to ashton "okay ash are you in your room?"

"y-yea" ashton said

luke ran into ashton's and michael's hotel room and made a b line to the bathroom. he took a sharp inhale when he saw ashton.