18 ➳ lashton

「 t w e l v e 」

Luke came home from work one night and walk in to his father dazed on the couch. The scent of the potent drug is unbearable as he growl under his breath. He's tired of smelling like shit, he's tired of being treated like shit, he's tired of living like shit. He works at a shitty job and comes home with his druggie father and poor living condition in a shit part of Perth.

What did he ever do to deserve this? Sure his attitude put people off and he gets angry real quick over the simplest of things. That's probably why his mother left him with his piece-of-shit father that has nothing better to do than do drugs all day and talk to creeps. He always thought of putting himself into foster care because he knows it's a lot better than living here.

Does he have the guts to do it? No.

He can move out because he's legal and the thing is, he doesn't have the money. His father spent his life savings (that his mother created for him when he was born) on drugs and Luke is stuck with nothing. His pay check goes to bills since he doesn't feel like living in the dark and cold.

And that's the thing: he shouldn't be the only one working. His father is in his early forties and people his age has a career; he did back when he was younger and he had a construction job before he was laid off. That was when everything spiral out of control.

There's a plethora of times when he thought of running away and leaving his father to die. The thing is, he doesn't know where to go: his family has disconnected from his life, and he lost his friends. He just doesn't understand why his life is like this.

He shake the thoughts out of his mind as he is back into reality. He has been standing in the middle of the kitchen when his mind went to a different place.

Luke decides to head back to his room so he can ignore his father, and to ignore his surrounding. He went to lay on his bed as he stare out the window that overlooks the street. The small town is run down and everything there is outdated and in shit quality. The apartment he is living in is run down and he's still sleeping in the same mattress from when he was six.

He's tired of this. He want his future to be a lot better than what it is now. He doesn't want his future family to ever experience this and wants the best from them. Luke doesn't want to continue living like this.

The job at the pizzeria isn't doing anything and now he has to find a second job in order to have money in his bank. Just the thought of money made Luke go dizzy as his brain is rapidly thinking of how to support himself.

He had to close his eyes so he can take a break. When he open his eyes, he glance at the cracked, outdated, popcorn ceiling. Then shift to the window where he spot a drug deal going on.

People here are pathetic. They turn to drugs when their lives are miserable yet they don't bother to fix it. They continue to make their lives worse by buying illegal drugs just to satisfy their needs for a few seconds.

It's just pathetic.

He shift his eyes from the street to the ceiling again. He remembers how the cracks on the ceiling got there as memories fill his mind, but rather not explain the memories. His mind went on with the memories as they become such a blur that it made him slightly dizzy.

Luke doesn't know why his mind is like that, but does he care? Maybe.

Out of nowhere an image of Ashton appear in his head, which is something he does not know. If Luke is being honest, he's actually appreciative that someone would try their hardest to become his friend.

After many years of hearing that he is difficult to deal with and having rumours swarming around him (which made people fear him), or being called a monster; he started to believe that he is all that. Thus, making him close everything up and not share anything. That's part of the reason why he's like this.

But he knows that he can't trust Ashton, not at all. He can't and will never trust anyone other than his soulmate, if he ever find his. Why would anyone like him anyways? He's problematic and can't be happy with life.

For some reason, Ashton is a shining light. He doesn't want to believe that Ashton wants to be his friend; maybe he's doing it as a prank? Maybe it was Calum that set him up so he can humiliate the brunette.

He doesn't want to let his guards down, not even for a minute. He doesn't want anyone to see the real side of him; he hasn't seen the real side of him in years. Does he miss it? Indeed.

There's no way he will ever admit that he enjoys having the dirty blonde around. Why would someone want Luke as a friend? He also will never admit when Ashton said that one time out of anger that he wasted his time on him. Or that he was a waste of time. It's something he won't admit because it is embarrassing, but it did hurt.

It's his fault that he can't properly communicate with people, and he honestly tried. But he ends up scaring them?

He doesn't understand what's going on.

Hopefully one day this will all go away.