Levi x Reader One-Shots

Levi x Self-Harm Reader ~ Comfort

{My idea, but also requested by JessicaKoningen later on}

AN:

I am not trying to promote or romanticize self-harm in any way! This is simply an idea I've had for a while, mainly because I am a victim of self-harm. I just thought this might be a good way to help those who are the same and idolize Levi like I do.

Also! Warning to the squeamish! Trigger warning: Explicit details of self-harming.

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Life was becoming more and more dull in your eyes. You felt as though it could all be over soon and no one would pay much mind to your death, but you never had the motivation to do so. But everything felt so...dull. The only thing that gave you the motivation to stay alive were your squad members, including your Corporal, Levi. If you had to be honest, you had a crush on him, but then again, who'd want to date someone who purposely harms themselves?

It hurt, having to drag the blade across your delicate skin, but it was the only way you could have some sort of comfort to the hell you kept putting yourself in. You don't even remember what started this unhealthy obsession in the first place because you've done it for so long, but the addiction's just grown stronger and stronger over the time you did it.

"How many years has it been?" you asked yourself, just below a whisper.

You pushed down, making sure not to accidentally cut a vain. Thick beads of blood soon appeared and started making its way down your arm, joining with other droplets of blood. This was pure satisfaction and bliss for you, at least until your senses kicked back in and you hissed quietly at the large amount of pain now erupting from your arm. Even though you've done it for so long now, it always hurt as much as the very first time.

Drawing in a shaky breath, you breathed in and out slowly so you wouldn't cause the adreniline from the pain to kick in. Soon, the blood stopped dripping and your heart rate slowed down. Half-lidding your eyes disappointedly, you looked up to realize that others were starting to wake up already. The sunrise was already done and you heard the sounds of other cadets passing by your bedroom door.

Making sure to clean up a little of the blood, you made sure to pull your jacket sleeves down before exiting your room. Gulping, you tried not to think of someone finding out. Soon, the thought of someone finding out subsided and you entered the kitchen, being greeted by a few of your squad members.

"Cadet (L/N)."

You flinched when you heard the familiar voice you always eagered to hear. Turning your head slowly, you locked eyes with Levi.

"Good morning, Corporal." you muttered, almost forgetting to salute him. He gave you a moment to realize the salute wasn't really neccessary, and you put your arms down, your new cuts now burning in pain from the constant movement. You held in the urge to hiss aloud and waited for the Corporal to say something.

"You seem off today, (L/N)." Levi claimed as he squinted at you. "Let's hope it's not bothering you too much, because you're on cleaning duty, today."

"Yes, sir." you said quietly before leaving to change to your normal cleaning outfit. Like Levi, you wrapped a white cloth around your head and kept another wrapped around your neck, in case you needed to cover your mouth. You were a bit of a clean-freak like him, which would explain one of the reasons why you liked him. It...would also explain why your cuts were so straight and not running over each other.

Right before you were about to start, you heard the sound of horses. Glancing out the window, you realized that everyone you knew was leaving for another expedition. Wait, I don't think someone's with them, you thought. Is it who I think it is?