On my birthday we went home to Accrington together because you were dying to meet my family.
Your mum didn't like the idea and didn't want to let you go but we convinced her eventually.
You were scared that my family wouldn't like you and that you'd do something stupid but I kept telling you that they'd love you and that even if you did something stupid, they'd know it's not your fault.
And as I told you, my family adored you. Even though you spilled the drink because your hand started jerking during dinner. Everything was fine.
After dinner we watched the Breakfast Club with my family and you cried at the end and everything seemed to be perfect. Normal.
Later that night, I took you out on the rooftop of our house. We sat there and looked at the stars and then I asked you what you were most scared of.
"I'm not afraid of dying." You said. "I'm afraid of missing out on something when I'm dead. I'm scared that I will miss you and mum and Blake and George. And I'm also scared that you won't move on. And that mum will drown in her agony because when I am gone, she has nobody left."
"I will look after her." I promised you.
"You have to look after yourself." You responded.
"The tragic thing about dying so young isn't dying itself but the fact that I won't ever graduate from college, marry, have children, see me grandchildren grow up, have a house and make all those memories with people I love."
We were silent for a while, then an idea came to my mind.
"I could marry you." I told you. "I want to marry you."
"Don't be silly." You said. "I will be gone by the end of next winter."
I wasn't being silly though. I was serious.
"No I mean it. We could get married."
"Don't waste your time on me. You'll find another woman that you will love just as much as you loved me."
"I don't want another woman. I want you." I told you but you shook your head.
Then you leaned in to give me a soft but meaningful kiss on the lips. You had tears in your eyes when you looked up at me.
"Promise me that you will fall in love again." You said to me and when I didn't answer you told me again.
And I promised you.
