9th March 2018
Reece's POV
Aspen's mum leaves Aspen's room crying. She nods at me, then she sits down in a chair. I sigh and quietly enter the room.
I don't want to wake Aspen, she needs her rest. She looks terrible. Her hair is sweaty and sticks to her forehead and temples. She is pale and breathing heavily. When I touch her cheek I feel that she is literally burning.
She opens her eyes as she feels my touch and she brings her hand to her face and holds my hand to her face for a bit longer.
Then she looks at me. Tears are about to well up in my eyes again. But I can't cry now, I have to be strong for her.
"Reece." She breathes. She remembers my name.
"Yes my love." I say and come closer to her. I sit on her bed only inches away from her. Oh damn how I miss her touch, her skin on my skin, her lips on mine. I miss my old Aspen. The Aspen who would sing with me at the hospital with kids even though it sounded terrible, the Aspen who would get her ears pierced when she's drunk and the Aspen who would make out with me in her car while listening to music. I can't bear seeing her like that anymore. I hate that I can't do anything to help her.
"Do you know who I am?" I ask and she slightly nods her head.
"You are Reece, my boyfriend and I love you very much." She says. God could have never given me a better gift than giving her a clear moment.
I can't help it, I start crying. I just can't believe that she's here with me. That her mind is really here.
"Why are you crying?" Aspen asks and wipes away a tear from my cheek.
"Because I love you so, so much." I tell her and laugh and cry at the same time.
"I love you too." I close my eyes. I would never get tired of hearing this sentence from her lips.
I rest my head in her lap and she caresses my hair with her fingertips.
I don't want her to leave me. I don't want her to go.
She falls asleep shortly after. I know I have to say my goodbyes just in case it happens today but I just don't know what to say so I just start saying what's on my mind.
"The moment I first saw you, I knew that I was gonna fall for you. What I didn't know was that it would end like this. Aspen, you're the girl who broke my heart a million times but I wouldn't choose any other girl in the entire world if I could. It is okay, break my heart a million more times but please don't, please don't leave me.
"I don't know if I can put up with all this shit without you. I don't know if I want to live without you.
You said you'd grow old with me but now you're dying. It is so unfair that you're dying. It's just not fair.
"Sometimes I imagine what we could have been. I would have married you in an instant that night even though you said I should stop being silly. But I wasn't being silly. I was being serious. I wanted you. I wanted every single part of you. I wanted to have a family with you and have a house and kids and grandchildren and fly to Hawaii for our honeymoon and see the world with you. I wanted to grow old with you and I hate that this was taken away from us. I hate that you were taken away from us."
I pause and let my head fall down into my hands. I sigh.
"I hope that when you leave, you'll be in a better place because you didn't deserve the cruelty of his world. I really hope that you'll be fine. I hope that you don't forget me because I will never forget you."
I silently stand up and leave. There are a million words that are left unsaid but I don't have the strength to stay.
