letters for my twin // marcus & martinus

day 9

so, i went to school today. guess what everyone said?
'i'm so sorry for your loss marcus.'
'i can't even imagine what you must feel like right now.'
i just tried to smile.
hard thing to do without someone telling shitty jokes next to me.
everyone treats me so differently.
you said you wanted me to act normal but it's impossible if others won't let me.
i'll try harder next time.
how are you up there? good? do you have lots of friends?
if you do, tell them i'm your best friend. and the best twin ever.
if you see any twins up there give them a high five.
i know i may sound like i don't care that much but you don't know how hard this is.
how hard it is to act like i'm somewhat okay.
to go to school and try not to cry whenever i see something that reminds me of you.
and believe me, everything reminds me of you.
-marcus