letters for my twin // marcus & martinus

day 365

it has now been a year since you left me.
i haven't been writing to you in over 300 days and i'm sorry.
after the concert i just kinda kept it all to myself and locked everyone out of my life.
then they found out i was depressed.
but who wouldn't be after losing their twin?
i have found out why you hate hospitals so much.
i have been there a couple times now, and i don't wanna tell why because i know you wouldn't be proud.
i just always heard it would help to do that.
it didn't, it hurt really much and mom and dad got mad when they found out what i was doing.
they took away every sharp object from me.
even my scissors.
i just couldn't help it anymore, it all got to me too much.
today has been hard.
i feel like i don't even know what to say anymore.
i'm sorry for disappointing you martinus.
i'll try harder from now on.
but it's getting a bit better. i have been hanging out with some friends, it helps me forget about sad things and makes me happy.
it's still weird being without you but it's getting easier. but don't worry, i'll never forget you.
because everything i do still reminds me of how i used to do everything with you.
-marcus