Voice Of Her Soul

chapter 10

Hello guys here is the next part of sumo's dairy..one more part left then you can get some new things...
Please read A/N at the end of the chapter

Nanu's heart attack

"Sari ummeede toot gai aaj shravan...mai haar gai uncle se bhi or apni kismat se bhi....kyo nahi dekh paye meri bebasi shravan...kaise ek bar me sare rishte tood diye tumne....
Kal tkk to sab theek tha...phir ek raat me kya badal gya aisa....kitni khush thi ki aaj phir tumne apni dosti nibhai indirectly meri madad Karna chahte ho aditya ke through...soch rahi thi ki ab tum mujhse apne dil ki baat kahoge or khush bhi hoge ki mai ne tumhari help le li...par tumne aaj phir mujh par bharosa nahi kiya...har bar ki tarha is bar bhi meri baat nahi suni...kaise soch liya shravan ki mai kisi or se ehsaan lungi...tumhe gussa is baat ka hai naa ki mai ne directly tumhari help nahi li kyo tumse paper nahi liye...tum he batao shravan kaise us insaan ke paiso se li Hui jagah le lun jisne mere pyaar ko khareedne ki koshish ki...kya itna bhi yakeen nahi hai mujh par ki chahe kuch ho jaye mai kisi bhi baat ke liye tumse pehle kisi ki help nahi lungi...kaise keh diye wo kadwe shabd shravan...kya ek bar bhi tumhare dil ne nahi roka tumhe wo insulting words kehte hue...aaj bhi tumhe meri dosti khokhli lagti hai naa...to theek hai...tumne he sare rishte tode the naa theek hai to ab jab tkk tum khud nahi jodoge unhe mai bhi kuch nahi karungi....chali jaungi tumhari zindgi se....haan shravan chali jaungi bahut door...mai ne haan kar di hai shadi ke liye aditya se....nanu ki zid ke aage har gai mai...unki jaan bachane ke liye agar meri zindgi kharab bhi hoti hai to koi gum nahi shravan...kyoki ab is zindgi me tum nahi to phir ye zindgi bhi kisi kaam ki nahi....nahi pta shravan ki kaise rakhungi khush aditya ko??...kaise use wo haq dungi jo tumhara tha mujh par?...kaise kisi or ki biwi ban paungi jab use apna pati mana he nahi??..par aaj tumharr sath hone ki koi ummeed he nazar nahi aa rahi to phir kis haq se mana karti nanu ko...tumhe kho chuki hun ab unhe khone ki himmat nahi hai...bahut akela feel kar rahi hun aaj...koi nahi hai mere sath....humesha tumhare sath rehne ki aadat jo pad gai thi...akelapan kya hota hai jaise bhool he gai thi...par aaj phir se akeli ho gai theek waise he jaise ma papa ke jaane ke baad Hui thi...jaise tumhare London Jane ke baad Hui thi....tum hote the sath to Badi se Badi problem bhi choti ho jaati thi sirf is khayal se ki tum sath ho....par aaj tumhare bina phir haar gai...koi baat nahi agar tumhe mujhse alag rehne par he khushi milti hai to yahi sahi...chali jaungi tumhari zindgi se bss tum khush rehna....tumhare bina kitne din jee paungi ye to nahi pta par jab takk zinda hun tumhe khush dekhna chahungi...aaj to tumhari sumo bhi nahi keh paungi khud ko...tumhari naa ho Saki par phir bhi tumhe chahungi..."

Preekar's wedding..

"Smjh nhi aa raha shravan ki aaj khushi manau yaa dukh...ek taraf meri choti Behan or mere friend ki shadi ho gai or wo apni new life shuru kar rahe hai wo bhi apne pyaar ke sath...bahut kam aise log hote hai jinhe unka pyaar milta hai shravan....shayad mai un logo me se nhi hun...mujhe kabhi pyaar nhi mil paya...bachpan me lagta tha ma papa pyaar karte hai phir wo door chale gye...phir laga mamaji ki family pyaar karti hai par baad me pta chala ek bhojh se kam nhi hun unke liye...phir laga nanu pyaar karte hai par kal pta chala ye pyaar nhi sympathy hai ek anaath ke liye...or unki fikar unka pyaar nahi tha...bulki mai zimmedari hun unki...phir tum aaye tab laga ki koi to apna mil gya mujhe jo bina sympathy ke bina badle me kuch mange, bina bojh samjhe, or bina kisi ummeed ke khayaal rakhta hai mera....jab tum wapas aaye meri itni Badi galti hone ke baad bhi mujhe waise he treat kiya jaise bachpan me karte the..tab laga yahi pyaar hai...mere mnn me pyaar to das saalo se tha par is bar tumhare liye respect bhi badh gai....tum wo insaan ban gye jiski mai sabse zyada izzat karne lagi thi par aaj....aaj to baate tumne kahi naa unhe sun kar tumhare liye mere mnn me jo izzat thi naa wo khatam ho gai...tumhare past ke karan aurto se nafrat karte ho tum ye baat janti thi or samajhti bhi thi ..par unke liye itni ghatiya soch rakhte ho ye aaj pta chala....or mujhe is baat ka bura sirf isliye nhi laga ki tumne mujhe bhi bura bhala kaha....aaj agar tum mera naam le kar nhi bhi kehta to bhi bura lagta kyoki mai bhi ek aurat hun or agar kisi ek aurat ki insult hoti hai to usme meri bhi insult hogi...kisi ki galtiya ginana alag baat hai par  sabko waise he Shaq ki nazro se dekhna galat hai....kitna kuch kaha apni maa ke bare me tumne par kya kabhi soch ko kya hota agar wo nhi hoti...kya hota agar wo tumhe duniya me laati he nhi..kya hota agar wo tumhe janam dene se pehle he.....jante ho kya hota...tum hote he nhi aurato par ungli utthane ke liye....mai manti hun nirmala aunty tumhare sath nhi rahi or unki galti hai..or is baat ka bura mujhe humesha laga hai...par ek pal ke liye aaj theek laga ki wo nhi hai...kyoki agar aaj unhone tumhare ye "types of ladies" lecture suna hota naa to pachtava hota unhe tumhe janm dene par....kya kaha tha ki chachi zehar ugalti hai...mai janti hun wo sahi nhi hai kuch jagah ...par tumhe koi right nhi unhe galat kehne ka jab tum sahi nhi ho...agar zehar ugal rahi hoti naa to ramnath uncle 10 saal tumhare or nirmala aunty ke bina akele reh nahi paate...kamini chachi wahi hai jinhone pushkar jaisa beta diya uncle ko jo tumhare jitna he khayal rakhta hai uncle ka...wo chachi he hai jinhone ghar ko jod rakha hai or uncle ko sath rakha hai...or ek family di...or kabhi bojh yaa zimmedari ki tarha treat nhi kiya...wo selfish hai par apne bete ke liye....wo chahti to kab se is parivaar ko tod di hoti...kyoki ek aurat ghar bana bhi sakti hai or bigad bhi...tumhi ne to kaha tha....tumne Zara bhi andaza nhi tha ki vandy Bhabhi ke bare me tum kya bol rahe ho.....mujhe kya advice di tumne...kya tumne lgta hai aurate sirf isliye hoti hai....aaj apne aap par sharam aa rahi hai ki tum jaise ghatiya soch ke insaan se dosti ki...tumne bhi to pyaar kiya tha mujhse agar aaj humara beech sab sahi hota to kya tum mere liye bhi aisi he soch rakhte jiski advice tumne mujhe di....aaj poori tarha se gir gye tum shravan meri nazro me....mai janti hun aditya ne jab tumhare samne ye baat kahi to bura laga hoga tumhe par tumne he rishte tode hai sare...to gussa kis haq se ho...or gussa ho bhi to tumne koi haq nhi kisi aurat ko gaali dene ka....tumhare liye mera pyaar jo hai wo to mai chaah kar bhi nhi bhula sakti par tumhare liye mere mnn me jo izzat thi wo aaj khatam ho gai...."

Sumo's wedding

"Mnn bahut ghabra raha tha shravan...tumhare itna karne ke baad bhi tumse he baate kar rahi hun...par kya karu jab bhi problem ko pass aate dekhti hun tum he yaad aate ho....aaj aisa kyo lag raha tha ki kuch galat hoga...or ho bhi gya....kya galti thi meri shravan...wo humesha humara rishte par sawal karta tha...par mai kya kehti use jab humne ek dusre se he kuch nhi kaha....aaj agar tum ne mujhse wo baat kahi hoti to use sawal karne ka haq he nhi hota...
Kehte hai jis kaam ko karne ka mnn naa ho wo Karna he nhi chahiye...or aaj ye seekh mil bhi gyi ...mera mnn kabhi is rishte ke liye raazi nhi tha or aaj dekh bhi liya kyo....lag raha tha kuch galat hoga par mnn me bharosa tha ki tum kuch galat hone nhi doge...or aaj bhi tumne wo bharosa kayam rakha...tum kitni bhi nafrat dikha lo shravan mera mnn nhi manta ki tumhe meri fikar nhi hai...tumne kaha ki tum kisi or ladki ke liye bhi yahi karte...par aurato ke liye tumhari thinking yahi kehti hai???...nahi...phir bhi mana ki insaniyat ke naate he sahi tum kisi or ke liye bhi aisa he karte use bachate par kisi or ko hurt karne waale ki jaan lene ki koshish nhi karte....ye sab hum us insaan ke liye he karte hai jiski fikar ho Hume.. Jisse pyaar ho....tum maano naa yaa naa Mano ...Aaj bhi tum pyaar karte ho mujhse.....aaj phir se ek bar zindgi bhar ka karzdaar bana diya hai tumne mujhe....pta nhi kyo aaj phir se humare rishte ke liye nayi ummeed nazar aa rahi hai..."

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you all are thinking that why I wrote second page is negative and suddenly in third part I changed sumo's POV...so the ans is favour...jab koi apke liye bhi aise stand le to POV badal jata hai....sorry for this most boring part but I have to end this dairy and situations are like this so I am writing this...one more boring part left... Please ignore all the types of mistake...

A/N  -  guys I am feeling that the response from last to updates are not like before...I am not complaining I just want to know why...is there anything I did wrong?? If it's about story so sorry for that because the subject of the story is boring but I can assure you that after 3-4 part you will get some light updates...
And if it's about something else then you can tell me  frankly...if any of you are not getting my reply then you can complain about that and you should do that surely....I am also a reader and I know how it feels when you praise someone and give your time to compliment them and writers don't even bother to give a reply and at the same time he/she replies other people it happened with me and they are one of my favorite writers it hurts it really hurts...so this is my request please tell me if I don't give any response of your comments.. it's your right...I always try to reply everyone...tell me your views about this part...

Love😘
Sweksha