author's note

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Hello!

You have just finished reading fall for me, consisting of 45k words (relatively a shorter story of mine). Thank you so much for sitting this one through.

You could've chosen hundreds of other Namjoon fanfictions on this platform but you set on this one, and for that I'm truly grateful. I sincerely hope that you liked this story.

The first time I started writing fall for me was back at the end of 2017. I feel like I was a different person back then. It was the same me but I was more whimsical and indecisive. I didn't know myself any better back then. I still don't but things in me have changed.

I wanted to write a character going through a questioning phase, and who could possibly be an asexual (just like me. I'm also aromantic by the way).

Let me tell you first what asexuality/ ace is in brief in case anyone doesn't know. Asexuality is a sexual orientation/ spectrum and an umbrella term, it means lack of physical attraction, or a limited amount of sexual attraction to others.

Aromantic means lack of romantic attraction to others. People like us are all about platonic love and relationships. We seldom, or never get sexually attracted to someone. Cool, right? The A in LGBTQIA+ stands for asexual!

You can learn more about asexuality from asexuality.org or AVEN (The asexual visibility and education network) which is my go to site when it comes to educating people about us.

Back to the topic of the story, when I first wrote this story I was a questioning person myself. I still wasn't sure about my sexuality. Hence the story lacked the depth I was going for. I was confused about it all. I couldn't convey the message I really wanted to.

After that, I was quite ashamed of this story. Whenever I saw anyone reading it I felt like burying myself six feet alive. This wasn't it, the whole message of the book came out as if I was invalidating people like me. I actually said that everyone finds someone in the original author's note, when that isn't the case.

Not everyone will have a romantic relationship, even for their whole life perhaps. And that is okay. Romance is overhyped anyway.

The media makes us feel like dating is everything, falling in love and having sex is everything, as if without all that our lives are incomplete. I assure you, that's not the case.

Platonic love matters too. Being an ace and aro doesn't make me lonely.

Park Soomi in this book is actually an asexual, but she falls in the demisexual category (which belongs to the asexual spectrum). She doesn't feel physical attraction unless she bonds a strong emotional attachment with someone.

You can ask why Namjoon? When she has spent her life with Jungkook and Taehyung.

She felt secluded with them because as a tomboy she could never fully mix with the guys nor with the girls. Her dad left when she was a kid and I believe she has attachment issues, and she has had a wound that made her unable to fully connect with someone. Until Namjoon came along.

Namjoon made her accept herself, he never questioned her idiosyncrasies, he spent time with her, and when she tried to change herself for him he said she didn't need to. She was fine the way she always had been.

That's why she was attracted to him emotionally, as well as physically. This story was short else I could've explored more. But I'm pretty satisfied with how the story had evolved and got so far.

Thank you again for reading. Please know that you're beautiful and you're a wholesome person. You deserve everything. Please love yourself more than you love others. And don't change yourself for anyone. You don't need a knight in shining armour because you're your own saviour.

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