you have all the kindness on your sleeves and it makes me want to hug all the sadness in the world and i hope i am warm enough for them to stay so they won't come looking for you and you will always be like this; twinkling eyes and long-sleeved white shirt and voice so warm it sounds like forgiveness.
my mom said that there are people who take years to learn to apologize and i never meant to be like that or to not be like that but at four i told her i was sorry she had to go through all the pain so i could breath the earth's air--my presence was a mistake--and after that apologizing has always been a very understanding friend, sometimes comforting, even, so God damn yes i want to apologize to you too, because that's the job, that's my job;
i'm sorry that there are days i stare at you for so long looking for contentment because life had not been so pretty. i'm sorry that i love you like i have any right to. i'm sorry that i dare to miss you like every obstacle will give in like every wrong will become right and let me find my way to you. i'm sorry that i am only able to talk and write in alphabets, twenty six letters, and i'm sorry because sometimes they lie inside the void refusing to come and i am left alone.
i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i am only made of blatant apologies and scars that refuse to be forgotten and constant nighmares lingering at every corner that tries to get some light--i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry that these are all i got.
on top of all i'm sorry that i need you to keep being like this, twinkling eyes and long-sleeved white shirt and a voice so warm it sounds like forgiveness so whenever i see you and whenever i hear you i can feel like
my presence
is being
forgiven.
YOU ARE READING
to: love that soothes
Randomfrom: a pragmatic lover // content: of every bit of you that matters--maybe everything.
