to: love that soothes

29

i went home and i cried again with my face that has no color and my left arm still a bit of a flashing red and my whole body aches i want to be pretty in any way just a little is okay too maybe my mind or the way i walk or the way i talk i don't know

i remember you and i haven't seen you all that much and i suddenly feel so sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry that loving you is still easier than living i'm sorry i'm not pretty and it's hard to love in peace when you know you are made of crashing waves and constant thunderstorms but in the end of the day i can still love you i can i can do that please let me i'm sorry this sounds so selfish

i love you maybe not with all i am--it's a mess i'm a mess--but maybe with some decent parts of me that i still have left maybe i still have them somewhere maybe maybe maybe