With You ✔

17

Kit

"Hey, have you seen Ellie? She came downstairs awhile ago to get us some drinks and she never came back up."

Finn looks over at me from his spot on the couch, an episode of Family Guy that he's seen a hundred times before playing on the television in front of him. "Yeah, she went to go get her nails done with mom. She told me to tell you."

"And you decided to not tell me?" I slap him on the side of his head as I walk past and take a seat next to him.

Ellie has been my girlfriend for a whole week now, and it's honestly been the best week of my life. After becoming official, I explained to her how I wanted to meet her mom before we started dating, that way she wouldn't have to stress about it and we could hang out at her house, as well as mine without dodging parents. I don't want that to be something standing in our way - I have enough secrets doing that already. I've been back to Ellie's house twice in the past week, and both times her mom has there, but did nothing to embarrass Ellie, or whatever it is El is so concerned about.

I know that Ellie has a strained relationship with her dad, but I've noticed that she and her mom never say more than a few words to each other before dropping the conversation. It's like her mom, who told me to call her Carol, tries to be involved in Ellie's life but Ellie feels like sharing details is a burden to her mom and doesn't say much so the whole conversation just dies.

I also told Ellie about how I want to ease back into talking to people and get back to normal. Ellie has never questioned why I'm so distant and cut off from everyone and everything, she just accepts it as how I am. I'm forever thankful that she let me get to this point without pressuring me to talk about things I don't want to talk about, but if she had asked me right then why I stopped in the first place, I would have told her. Instead she just told me she was happy for me, and would help in any way possible.

So far I've just been saying hi to people in the halls and having small talk in my classes. Baby steps. People are surprised at first, but then they get used to it.

I've been considering apologizing to Hannah, but I'm not sure if that would do more hurt than good. She knows that I'm with Ellie now, and even before El and I were dating, Hannah hated Ellie just for the simple fact that I talked to her. Ellie and I went to the movies a few nights ago and when Hannah saw us in the concession line she stared at us the entire time we made our purchase and walked to our theater.

Ellie knows my history with Hannah, and while she doesn't really have an opinion on me apologizing, Finn certainly does. Finn also has an opinion on me attending Parker's party tonight.

"Are you sure you don't want to go tonight? It's the kick off to fall break."

"My answer hasn't changed, Finn."

"I just don't know why you aren't going. I'll be there, and so will El." He turns so that he's looking at me and I ignore him, keeping my eyes on the television. I may be saying hello to people in the halls at school and eating inside the restaurants instead of the car when El and I go out for lunch, but I am not ready for one of Parker's parties.

"I'm not going, it doesn't matter who is going to be there. You and El have fun, I'll be here when you get back." Going to parties together has been something Finn and Ellie have been doing for the past couple of months, ever since they met up at one right after school started. The go out, have fun, sometimes have a little too much to drink, and then come home and tell me all about it. It's nice to see them have fun together - in a way, it's like they're getting from each other what they can't get from me.