With You ✔

21

Ellie

When I see my mom's car pull up outside the hospital entrance, I toss my empty coffee cup in the trash can and go out to meet her. As soon as I'm outside the hospital though, I'm ready to run back inside. What if something happens to him while I'm gone? The thought plays on a loop in my mind.

I called my mom a couple of hours ago and told her what was going on. After letting me cry and vent over the phone for half an hour, she hung up and called into work so that she could come pick me up and take me to get my things from my dad's.

Last night I told Kit about my dad giving up on his good dad act, and I know that he feels bad for me because he knows how much I wanted this to go well. Honestly though, after everything that happened last night, including Kit saying he loves me, my dad was the last thing on my mind. I'm clearly the last thing on his mind, so it only seems fair.

My mom isn't surprised by my dad's behavior, but she is still pretty angry about it. As we drive to Greentree, she tries to call him but her call gets forwarded to his voicemail and he never calls back. I send him a text saying that I'm going home, but he doesn't reply to that either. I guess I'm getting that closure I wanted.

When we get to the house, he isn't even home. If he even came home at all, he didn't notice I was gone, that or he did come home and just didn't care to call to see where I was.

"Do you want me to come in with you?"

I smile as best as I can, given everything, and thank my mom for the offer. "No thanks, I'm just going to get my things and we can head back."

I'm going to go back to the hospital tonight and stay with Kit after he has had some time with his family and to rest. We both agreed that we can hold off our talk for that long. All I know for sure is that Kit has a brain tumor, and he's had it for a little over a year now.

I quickly get my things, and leave my empty bedroom behind. There's nothing left in this house for me - if there was ever anything there at all. I don't look back at the house after locking the door and turning towards the driveway, and I notice that my mom doesn't either as we drive away.

I don't realize how exhausted I am until I'm back home and have taken a long, hot shower. I put on a pair of leggings, tossing the pair I borrowed from Katie in my hamper and making a mental note to remember to return them, and a sweater before falling into my bed and waiting for the hours to pass so that I can see Kit again. As soon as I close my eyes, I'm out until my mom wakes me a few hours later and tells me that dinner is ready.

By the time I make it back to the hospital visiting hours are technically over, but a few of the nurses have a sweet spot for the twins and let me in as long as I agree to be quiet and let him rest.

Kit

All day it has been one nurse or doctor after another coming into my room to talk to me, take vitals, or take me to have a test done. None of this is new to me, but this time I'm paying a lot more attention to what they are saying and doing. Last year when all of this was happening, I was numb to it all. I didn't care if the treatments and medicine worked or not, I just wanted it to be over with either way so that not only would my pain stop, but so would the pain and worry on the faces of everyone around me.

Last year I didn't think of anyone other than Finn, my mom, and my grandma. Last year I had a football game the next night that I didn't care about. Last year I was dating Hannah, and didn't even text her to tell her. Last year I heard the word tumor and thought that my life was over.