With You ✔

19

Ellie

I've been back in my old town, in my old house for two days and it feels like a whole new place. My dad has home with me the entire two days, only making a handful of phone calls and spending only a couple of hours in his office at night before joining me in the living room to watch a movie and talk about old memories.

"Dad?" I walk through the entire house searching for him, only to find that I'm alone. I search the kitchen counter for a note and check my phone for a text or voicemail, but there's nothing. I make myself a bowl of cereal and make myself comfortable on the couch while I wait for him to return home from whatever errand he's running, and after two episodes of a show on HGTV, I decide to call him. The phone rings a few times before I'm sent to voicemail, so I hang up and send a text asking about lunch plans, but as the hours pass by I accept the fact that I'm not getting a reply.

By the time he gets home I've been in bed for a couple of hours, having spent the entire day lounging around the house, waiting and thinking that he ran out to do an errand, only to find out that he didn't take off the entire week as promised. It's not that I would have minded if he worked while I was here, I understand he has a job to do - the problem is that he won't stop working when it's time to clock out for the day.

The next morning, I catch him right as he's walking out the door, but he has his phone to his ear and just waves a quick goodbye. All I get is a text a few hours later saying that he left some money on the counter and that I should order a pizza or something.

I feel like a fool. I let myself believe that things had changed, when really he was just trying to make himself feel better about not seeing me for months and for making us a broken family. Work is still his number one and I'm still not important to him. Here I am, laying in my old bed, in my old room, inside my old house, living my same old life. I don't have to be here. I don't have to be tossed aside like this or feel stupid. I reach for my phone on my nightstand and text Kit.

Kit

I wake up in the middle of the night with a pounding headache and covered in sweat. I feel sick, and when I try to sit up or move my head, my vision blurs and the pounding sensation gets worse. I can feel my sheets sticking to my skin and I start to hear a ringing in my ears as I fight the waves of nausea.

I know what this was, I've been here before, and as I hold my head in my hands, all I can think of is Ellie.

I have to tell her. I have to let her know that I'm sorry I didn't tell her sooner. I have to let her know that I'm sorry I dragged her into this, and apologize for being so selfish and careless.

But how could I have not been selfish? How could I have passed up the opportunity to know her, to spend time with her, hear her laugh, see her smile, and love her.

Is it too soon to be in love with her? I know that I've only known her for a few months, but if there's one thing I've learned this past year, it's that life is short and nothing is guaranteed. The way I feel when I'm with Ellie, and the way I feel about her - it has to be love. Right?

The more I think about it, the more I'm sure, and I have to let her know that I love her.

I can barely see anything, my head is hurting so bad that I know it's only a matter of time before I lose consciousness and who knows for how long. The last time this happened I was out for three days, but I have to let Ellie know what's happening before the darkness takes over. I reach for my phone and see that she had texted me earlier. I must have missed it when I came upstairs after dinner to lay down because I could feel the beginning of a headache coming.