Compilcations

Chapter 6

Journal Entry 3
    Who the fuck does that ugly ass whore think she is. She barged into my damn house! Who does that (Besides me of course…). Wow, she really knows how to be a goddamn pest. If my dad was her, he would have shot her dead the minute she stepped into this house. I don’t know what to think about it. I don’t want Amy to know what I did to Avery. I feel like she would just flip out and be disgusted by the decision I had to make so quickly. I don’t know what to make of this. She hasn’t even been in this neighborhood for a week and she’s already on my kill list… don’t ask… I don’t know when my father will be home and that’s just fine with me. I don’t know why I am still her and put up with his bullshit. I don’t know why I just don’t take me and my little sister far from this horrid place, Probably because we have no other place to go. I don’t want to admit it but… I fear I must… I’m scared… Yeah, I know, weak of me to say. I wish that my mother would have never gotten sick and pasted. Ever since she did, nothing has been the same around her. I don’t know what to think about it. I don’t think about it to be honest with myself. I can’t face the fact that she is gone and there is nothing me or anyone else could have done to make her feel better. Ever since she died, my dad has been drinking and smoking to keep her out of his head. If he can’t remember what he did the night before, there is no way n hell that he would be able to remember that he had a loving family before her passing. I often wonder how it feels to have grown up with a mother. No beatings… No drugs… No alcohol… No complications… What I would give to have my mother come back to life… What I wouldn’t give...All she is, is a distant memory of the family we could have had. There’s not a single day that passes with me thinking of her, feeling her present’s around me. If god were real… he wouldn’t have let this happen to her… to us… to our family… what the fu-------

    At that moment, my door swung open…