Ace of Hearts

2

I stare around at my nearly empty room. Pictures still hang on the wall alongside the memorabilia of a lifetime spent in these walls. "I still can't believe this is really happening."

"I know it's not exactly what you had hoped for, but I think it will still be good for you." My dad smiles as he wraps me in the millionth hug for the day. "You're mom is still royally pissed at me for helping you with this. Still, it will be just like the old days."

"You mean when we would eat junk food, stay in fancy hotels, jump on the bed, watch tv, and do anything that mom would never approve of?"

"I was thinking more of when you would keep me up all night in anticipation of what we would do the next day. Then you would make me read until you finally fell asleep." He laughs and picks my suitcase up from the floor.

"Oh yeah. I did do that didn't I?" A quiet moment settles over the two of us. "There's no way I can thank you enough for this. I'm really going to miss you, Dad."

"I'm going to miss you too, bean." We both chuckle as he ruffles my hair up. "Don't change too much. You may be grown up, but you're always going to be my little bean."

"I know." I sigh as we leave my bedroom to drag my stuff downstairs and wait for Jade. "Don't worry, if I get a tattoo or dye my hair a crazy color, you'll be the first one I tell."

"Please, don't get a tattoo."

"Fine, hair dye it is then." I tease with a devious smile. "I'm going to miss you too, Mom. Thank you again for letting me do this." I try to tread carefully around her and the subject, but she remains stiff. Even as I wrap her in a tight hug, she gently wraps her arm around me and kisses my hair.

A car horn blares from outside, which brings a smile to my face. "You should get going. You wouldn't want to miss your flight." She pauses for a long moment as she still hold onto my arms. "Do you have everything you need? Your scheduling memorized?"

"I wouldn't be your daughter if I didn't." I chuckle and kiss her cheek before heading out with one last wave. "I'll call you when we land!"

. . .

"Oh. My. God." Jade whispers with her jaw hanging in awe at the view. "This is so freaking cool. Not only are we in California, we're staying on the beach, for nearly a week?"

"Yep. Isn't it great?" My feet bounce underneath me as I stare out across the beach from our terrace. "It's even more breathtaking than I remembered. The last time I was here, I was seven and with my dad on his book tour."

"And do you remember all the good places to meet people?" Jade nudges my shoulder with a sly wink. She's already made it abundantly clear that this summer she wants to help me get out of my shell. "Or at least fun things to do?"

"I think I remember a few good restaurants and secluded beaches. For now, I need a my camera and journal. This is going to be the kind of thing I remember."

I spend nearly an hour on the terrace. The waves tumble against the shore and leave traces of their touch on the sand in the form of soft foam. My notebook rests on my lap, and I pause to work out the cramps in my hand before continuing.

It all seems so strange to be here in my summer of freedom. This beach was where my dad showed me the best spots to find shells and how to dry them out. He showed me how to send a message in a bottle and where to hide it for others to find. This was the beach where he told me tales of pirates and vagabonds, and princesses in search of adventures on the wide ocean.

Book tours with my dad were always my version of an adventure. Now, I'm on the start of an adventure all my own, and I couldn't be more excited for it to finally begin.

It should feel perfect, liberating, and fun, but instead, I feel lost. Maybe that's what this trip will be all about—finding the part of me that went missing somewhere along the way. Maybe it will be about discovering how to not feel guilty for the things I can't stop or change.