Prologue

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"Adam seriously, let it go" I told my boyfriend through the phone. "Michael and I are just friends. He needs someone right now" I heard him laugh but he wasn't amused.

"That kid doesn't need anything. He's in a fucking band for christs sake" he spat "A successful fucking band Riley. He has Ashton, Calum, and Luke. The kid doesn't need you too."

I could feel my face heating up with anger. He doesn't understand. No one understands. Can't someone be friends with a guy and it not be romantic. "That has-" I was interrupted by a thumping sound at my window. "That has nothing to do with it Adam. He knows he has the guys but he needs everyone who cares right now." I heard the sound at my window again. Probably just the wind. I sighed "I'm tired Adam. It's midnight I'm done fighting tonight." He continuted to yell at me, but I ignored him. I heard the thumps again. What was that? I stood up and walked over to my window, only to see a green haired boy standing on the ground below in my back yard. He waved when I poked my head out.

"Adam, I'll see you tomorrow okay?" I didn't wait for a response. I didnt even really know if I would see him tomorrow. I pushed end. "Michael Gordon Clifford, what in gods name are you doing?? It's like midnight!" I tried to say it as quietly as possible. Hoping to not wake my parents.

He waved in a way that was telling me to come down. I shook my head "No Michael" He threw another rock. I rolled my eyes. "Fine, give me five minutes"

I looked down at myself to realize I was only in a pair of Adam's boxers and a tank top. I grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants from the floor and a hoodie from my closet. I pulled the hood up and quietly tip toed through my house to the back door. He was sitting there on my back patio.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, taking a seat next to him.

He looked at me, his green eyes were as bright and beautiful as always "Couldn't sleep"



"So you decided to come throw rocks at my window?" i raised an eyebrow at him. I knew Michael was one to do spontanious things. But this was almost crossing the line.

He ignored my question, stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. "I also needed to talk to you"


I tilted my head sideways. I don't undestand what was so important he needed to come here at midnight. I curled my legs up to my body. "Then talk" I said.

He was wearing a cut up green day t-shirt and his signature black skinny jeans. It was all very michael. I could see the muscles in his jaw tighten. A hand went up to his face and he started rubbing his chin. He looked upset. Nervous even. "Mikey?" I stood up. His eyes didn't focus on me. They were focused on my house behind me. "Hey" I put my hand on his arm. He stiffened. "What's wrong?" Up close I could see his eyes were puffy and red. Like he had been crying.



His eyes finally met mine. "I can't do this anymore" he said softly.

My heart sank. Not again. After all of his progress. "Michael you can't. Things are finally starting to-"

He frantically shook his head. "No. Not that. I-I can't keep pretending." his voice cracked.

Pretending? What did that even mean. Other than the rest of the guys, he was the most real person in my life.

"Pretending? I don't understand." i said




"Dammit Riley" his voice was a little louder. "I can't keep pretending that I don't-" He stopped himself. "I'm sorry." My head was spinning. I stepped forward and he stepped back. "I-I shouldn't even be here." He walked off the patio and towards the gate.



I ran after him. "Don't go! Tell me what you were going to say, Michael." I grabbed his hand.

He took a breath and turned to face me. My hand still in his. "Pretending that I don't love you. Pretending that I can spend time with you every day and ignore the ache in my chest. Adam doesn't deserve you Ri"




My heart dropped into my stomach. Before I could form a response his lips were on mine. Soft and more gentle than any kiss I had ever experienced. It took me a few seconds to realize I was kissing him back. I liked it. I didn't just like it. I loved it. I didn't know why. But I did. Then I realized. Adam. I pulled away, leaving a confused Michael in front of me. "No. No. No." I said

A/N: hello, new readers. I just want to put this disclaimer here. This book does contain things like violence and sexual abuse. It's not too intense, but it is there. Just a warning before you continue. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy! Feel free to leave comments along the way. I love to read them and you could even get a chapter dedicated to you in the sequel. I'm in the process of writing the second book so don't forget to check that out when you're done with this. Happy reading new friends!

with love as always,
-Greenclifford

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