Chapter 1: Hotel Sickness

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They told me not to drink alcohol, so why am I drinking it?

-10:00 p.m.

I felt my forces drain away with each drink I took from the bottle. At this point, drinking was the least of my problems. Getting home was now an issue. Before completely passing out, I managed to get myself an uber to drop me off at the nearest hotel.

Upon arrival, I find myself beginning to become nauseous. I refuse to let myself vomit. I managed to book myself a room: all because the person liked Rammstein. (Thank you, kind stranger.) Once I got in the room, I immediately ran into the bathroom and threw everything up. My vomiting did not stop any time soon. After some time, I was finished but something was not quite right. I looked over at the mess I had made, and I was in shock.

Did I throw up blood?

I let out a long sigh. Finally standing up, I began to make my way onto the bed.

Oh, well.

Let's just hope nothing too bad happens.

-next day/7:00 a.m.

I find myself waking up to a vibrating phone. I turn to face it, and there it was. Flake was calling me. Before I could answer, the call was declined. After some thinking, I begin to look at my notifications. 15 missed calls, 5 voicemails, and 37 text messages. My immediate reaction is to just sigh. Now look at what I have to read. I start reading each text. Most were sent by Flake which consisted of "answer me" or "where are you." Normally the band wouldn't worry too much about me but you see, alcohol is slowly killing me. Even the doctors said I should limit my consumption. I continue my journey of reading the messages. Paul was the only one who sent something meaningful. "I don't know where you are, but I hope you're safe." Richard sent a few threatening ones like "If you are out drinking, I will shave your head and wear the damn wig." Oliver simply sent one text which read "Please come back." Christoph didn't bother texting me at all. I honestly didn't mind at all. Less messages for me to deal with. It was evident though that Flake was very concerned. That man is very emotionless. Seeing him act like this is strange. Well, I did leave in a rush yesterday. Was I too obvious? I look down at the floor and bite my lower lip. I rest my face on my hand and felt myself get a headache. Oh, wow, great. Nice way to start the day. What will I do now? I can't face them after what I did. Just then my stomach growled. Looks like that's my decision for the day! I make my way downstairs to the lunch area of the hotel and grabbed some waffles. Haven't had these in forever! Once I finished, I began going upstairs when I hear a familiar voice.

"There he is! That asshole!" cried out the frail man.

I felt myself tense up as I ran back to my room. I didn't even turn to face them. Hell no I wasn't dealing with Flake right now. I'm already feeling like I am about to die. I do not need an earful from him. I close my door and sit on my bed. He's going to come up here and yell at me. I felt like a little kid running away from their guardian. I feel frustrated. If I want to fuck myself over, so be it. My two daughters are old enough to take care of themselves. I have nothing to really live for. I just wish the rest would understand that. Yes, it's reckless and dangerous. I'm not that stupid. I just don't care about anything at all. Oh, well. Guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

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Song: Cerati-Melero - Tu Medicina

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Originally written: March 6, 2018

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