Chapter 6: Drink Till You Sleep

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I make a left, and there stood my greatest enemy. An enemy that has continued to ruin my life and make it a living hell. A bar. I'm sure at this point, I should be smart enough to not drink after that incident. Well, I'm not that bright. My emotions get to a point where they drive my every action. Impulse overcomes my sense of reason. I go inside and start ordering almost immediately. I take shots of Jägermeister, fireball, Jack Daniels, tequila, and much more. I order drinks as if I were immortal. The bartender seemed to be quite concerned because of his persistent questions like "are you sure about this" and "wow, what did you wrong". I ignored his remarks and questions. I came here to drink, not socialize. Many girls had approached me, but I refuse and reject them all. Like I said, I'm not interested in socializing. I'm only here to drink and slowly kill myself. At least my friends will be spared the trouble. At this rate, I'll achieve death if I continue. Just then, I hear a familiar voice. At this point I'm not sure if I'm imagining things or not. I could have sworn I just saw Paul and Richard. I...I do not want to wait and see. I get out of there immediately after 30 minutes of pure drinking. I push my way through the crowd of dancing people. As I'm about to leave, I feel a sharp tug on my arm.

*Yank*

"Where do you think you're going?"

"D-Don't touch me." I exclaim. I couldn't recognize who was in front of me...or who was around me.

"Till, what the fuck! Why are you acting like this?"

"Let go of me!" I swing my arm and hit whoever was in front and next to them. Blood appears on my fist. The sight of that red substance sends me into a panic attack.

I quickly made my way back to the hotel. I did not want to wait and see what would happen if I stayed. I feel fear reach its peak within me. I start panting and feeling lightheaded. I breathe sharply and attempt to reach for the door to lock it. After a few drunk attempts, I succeed. Also, I am not aware that something will be happening as a result of my actions. I did not realize I was being followed up to my hotel. I throw myself on my bed and feel the pain arise in my stomach. I felt the need to throw up. Just then, someone sat next to me and placed their arm on my back as I continue to lay face down.

"You'll be okay, Till. I promise." The familiar voice soon strikes a faint memory in my brain. The same thing happened back in '98. I was in the same position too except it was drugs instead. I had overdone it and accidentally overdosed. Flake stood by me the entire time as we both waited for an ambulance. Flake had to remind me of this memory because I was far too gone to realize who was with me the entire time. I could feel it though. His warmth remains unmatched. I feel tears form and fall down my cheek.

Es tut mir leid, Flake.

I'm so sorry for hurting you like this...I'm such an idiot.

-9:00 a.m.

I wake up in cold sweat. What the fuck? Where the...where am I? I look around only to find myself in my hotel room. I checked my money and none of it was spent. I didn't have a hangover. Was all of this some sick dream?

*knock knock*

"Yes, who is it?" I yell as I put on some pants. There was no reply from the other side of the door. I grew rather annoyed so I just swing the door open.

"Till."

I look at the man standing before me. A fragile man with a worried facial expression.

"Flake." I say to him. I hesitate before continuing. "You shouldn't be here."

A strong urge to embrace him overcame me. I give in finally and hug him. His skinny arms wrapped around my waist. My shirt began to wet.

He was...crying? But...why?

I felt bad for everything I have caused. I had only seen Flake cry once and that was from some film about a girl with a disorder. I feel my heart drop. How dare I hurt Flake. I hug him tightly and apologize profoundly for my previous actions. After a moment of silence between us, we both sit upright. I glance over at him and smile. Flake reciprocates and rests his head on my shoulder as we continue to embrace one another once again. Paul bursts in only to step away slowly. I couldn't help but smile at Paul's silly gesture. He probably felt like he was intruding on our moment.

"I'm sorry," I say with a heavy heart. Flake did not bother answering. I know why though. He would start crying all over again. I gave him some time to relax in my arms before I allowed him to talk. His breathing became slow and calm.

"How did you find me?" I ask with curiosity.

"Paul did. The girls you were with told him where you were heading."

"Tricky Paul." I smirk while glancing over at him.

"Heh...ja."

"I...never meant to cause this much damage. I just...I don't want to hurt you guys. I thought maybe running off-," I start up before getting interrupted by Flake.

"-was a good idea? Of course you did, you walking piece of meat."

I laugh at Flake's insult and shake my head. "Walking piece of meat, huh? Okay, sack of bones."

Both of us were laughing at one another. It felt really nice to be joking around like this.

"Can I come in now?" exclaims the short guitarist.

"Oh, ja Paul."

Soon, the rest of the band was here.

"You'll get better." Oliver says.

Wait...what?

"You think he can hear us?" Richard worriedly asks.

Guys, I'm right here.What was happening?

This nice feeling was ripped away from me. I can't wake up. This...none of this happened...I try remembering what happened. So many thoughts flooded my mind. Wait a minute.

The bar.

All of that drinking...it put me into a coma? But how? That shouldn't be possible...did something else happen?

-

Originally written: April 11, 2018

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