Rammvier Against One

Chapter 13: Get in the Car

TILL'S POV

It's 5:57 a.m. I haven't been able to sleep in spite of my attempts. I think now is the best opportunity to leave. I get up from the sofa and grab my coat. As I put on the coat, I contemplate on if this is what I should really be doing.

I don't really have a choice.

I open the door and leave. Where to? I have no where to go. None of my friends know what I'm doing. I don't even know what I'm doing. I look up and see the bright morning, light blue sky.

Where even am I? Where should I even go to? Why should I go anywhere? What difference will the location make?

I look at the floor and find myself to be lost. Not literally, but emotionally. I don't know what to feel. I hate hurting my friends so why am I doing this? Why do I feel the damn fucking need to leave and damage the few people who care about me in this world? What...what is wrong with me? I...I need a drink. I know there's a bar somewhere around here. I find myself frantically looking for my wallet. There. I pull out my money and count it. That should definitely be enough to end it all. I never thought alcohol poisoning would be the way to end things.

It's not like anyone would really miss me. I'm replaceable and disposable. My disappearance won't matter. Sure, my friends will be sad. Maybe my fans too. They'll get over it though. After all, days will continue to pass after my death. I've lived my life and done my part. I'm no longer needed or wanted by anyone. They'll accept my death eventually. I mean, they probably learned how to live without me by now. I have not seen them in days.

Going to the bar should take me around thirty minutes or so to get there. I frown at the thought that this is my last day. I shake my head, and I begin to make my way to my dreaded destination.

A car can be heard honking its horn. I stop and wait to see if anything comes of it. The car honks again-this time, longer.

I turn around, and there he was. My face goes pale.

Oh fuck...now I'm going to get it.

"Get in the car," yelled the visibly upset individual.

I didn't say anything. I stood there, as if I were frozen. I'm not sure what to do. Should I continue going or cave in?

"Till, get in the fucking car," screamed the man. I still could not move. It's as if my body refuses to take any further actions.Everything I feared is right before me.

"Till, please," begged Flake as he gave me a concerned look. I blankly stare at him and slowly make my way into his car. I couldn't even look at him.

"What are you doing here?" I quietly ask.

"I should be asking you that. Till, why? Why did you run away like that?"

"I...don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? I need an answer, Till. Did I do something wrong? Please just...just tell me what's the problem. I'm not here to yell at you. I just...I care, Till."

"It's not you, Flake. It's actually not anyone. I'm the problem. All I do is hurt everyone. I tried getting away, but you kept coming back. I was hoping you'd give up on me so I could..." I pause and find myself to be choked up.

"So you could what?"

"Do you know where I was going?" I ask.

"No," responds Flake as he continues to drive.

Should I even be telling him this?

"I...was..." I clear my throat and look away. Tears fill my eyes as I continue with, "...planning to kill myself." I admit, full of despair. Flake does not say anything. He looks so empty. I should have kept my mouth shut. Now Flake knows about my pain.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You didn't need to know that," I try to excuse myself with that response. Flake is not having it however.