Thoughts in a Word

Cherished Suicide

I hate when people say "If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change, so what difference is it going to make if i jus do it you know? Get it over with. It's going to happen one day so why not today?" Whenever I hear it or read it, all I want to say is that "Fuck it. thats not true. That's not fair." You wanna know why it's not fair? Because yeah it will happen, but guess what? That's world. That's not life. In this big universe, in this teeny tiny plant, you're on human being. You're not going to make a difference in the world. But you cannot tell me, you have no right to tell me that your best friend will not sit at your lunch table or in class or in your room fucking staring at the seat and staring blankly at your things, wishing, hoping, that you were still there to fill the space with your uncontrollable laughter which made the funny things even funnier. Do not fucking tell me that your sibling wouldn't break down in the middle of class or work or in the middle of nothing because whatever they're doing right now, they used to do it with you or to spite you. Do not tell me that your mother, oh your sweet loving, charming mother will not stare into her mirror with trembling lips and eyes filled with tears wondering where she went wrong, wondering what she could've done to stop it, wondering why? Do not tell me that she wouldn't be wishing to bring you back home from the hospital rather than having to escort you away in a casket to the graveyard and getting ready for your funeral. Do not fucking tell me that your father will not be working day and night to distract himself from the emptiness that he has in his live because his child killed themselves and he had no idea that was going to happen. His sweet little child who was always full of laughter who was up at talking to whats-their-face all night because you were so in love with each other. Do not fucking tell me that your significant other would not go in your room and take as much as they can to savor the memories you had with them, hoping to find something that has your smell on it and wishing it never fades away. Do not fucking tell me that your friends would not stare at the wall blankly when the principal announces your death over the P.A. thinking, hoping, trying to convince themselves that its just a prank that you're trying to pull. You have no fucking right to tell me that this bull shit "If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change, so what difference is it going to make if i jus do it you know? Get it over with. It's going to happen one day so why not today?"will still happen because without you, you lil beautiful piece of shit, without you, these people don't want any of that to happen and thats life. The world is too big to care about you. But life, life is a whole another story. You have too many people who love you and are there to support you through anything and everything you go through.