Wake up|BTS

T h i r t e e n

"What are you talking about? Of course I did—"

"Are you sure. You woke up at the steering wheel am I right?" I stare at him and go back over that memory.

He was right... I don't actually remember hitting him.

"Then, what happened?" I ask

"As I was saying... I drove around looking for him. As I was driving I noticed an object lying on the road. I thought it was a deer or a larger animal. I was gonna drive past it... But it seemed odd that a deer would be lying in the middle of the road. There were no near by forests or fields so I got out the car and went to look."
The other me drops his head.

"It... It was a body. I quickly went back to my car to grab my phone to call an ambulance. After I'd done that I ran to the side of the body. He was dressed in all black so I took down his hood to get a better look at the face... There was so much blood I knew that there was no hope for this person. But... I then realised that I knew who it was... It was Jungkook."
He lifts his head slowly again tears dripping down his cheeks.

"He died—"

"In a hit and run accident, the culprit was never caught." He finishes wiping away his tears.
"The ambulance came soon after, as soon as they came and I'd given my statement to the police I got in my car and drove away. I drove to the nearest hotel and I got drunk, I don't remember how long I was there for but Namjoon finally found me... We were completely broken from the deaths of our friends... One by one my friends slowly left. I knew Yoongi was up to something the day I found a recite for gasoline in his room. I knew he'd be at his warehouse so I drove there, I got to the door and the whole place erupted into flames."

My heart starts to ache. Things were starting to make sense and piece together.

"Hoseok was next, every since Jimin's death he'd been taking anti depressants, he was never the same hopeful man he use to be. He was just an empty body. He showed no emotions, until one day it must've got to much for him because he overdosed and was found on a bridge collapsed, he died on that bridge. And then there's Namjoon..." He trails off while mentioning Namjoons name.

"He made me promise not to leave him...." I mutter clutching my fists into balls in anger.

"He did.... After Hoseok's death Namjoon started to smoke. Tobacco and all sorts of stuff, eventually he started doing other drugs. He chained smoked and started to get more aggressive each passing day. He went to work one night at the gas station... He was smoking on the job, I still don't know if it was an accident or on purpose but the whole station exploded. There were no other casualties besides Namjoon." He looks at me.

"And Taehyung..." I whisper.

"Taehyung... Throughout this he didn't show much emotion, he didn't fully accept their deaths. He'd talk about them like they were still alive, like they were just on holiday... We decided to go to the same beach we went to that day... Before the first Death. I had no idea what his true intentions were... Tae had always been hard to read... He could hide his emotions from the outside...I watched him clime that rickety structure. I heard his last words and I was the last person to see him alive. He jumped. The sound of his body hitting the ice cold water haunted me for days... I couldn't take the pain any longer. I saw my brothers faces when I ate, slept, drank... The dorm was empty and dark. I started doing bad things, self harming, drinking, drugs... But one night I woke up in a cold sweat. I'd had a dream." The other me walks past me and looks out over the bridge we were standing on.

"W-what did you dream?" I ask slowly.

He turned to face me and smiled. "I saw all of my friends. We were at the beach... But this wasn't a memory. They were happy and laughing. I took in the details on their faces and how they smiled. Yoongi's gummy smile, Hoseok's contagious smile, Namjoon's prominent dimples, Jimin's eye smile, Taehyung's box smile..." He closes his eyes as if he was reminiscing. "...And Jungkook's innocent smile. It was like they were waiting for me to join them... I had no one left anyway. I decided that that night would be my last. I grabbed my car keys and my coat and I walked out of the door." He suddenly climes on the bridge and turns to face me standing on the edge.

"Hey! What are you doing??" I say putting my hands out to try to grab...Him. He only half heartedly smiles.

"I got on this bridge and I cried. I was shaking but I knew I had to do it. I couldn't suffer this pain any longer..."

"After all this... There's something I want to know..." I narrow my eyes and for the first time sure if one thing.

"There's... There's one thing I can do to save them right?" I say.

The other me stares hard at me before opening his mouth then closing it.

"You're not actually me are you... And I'm not actually dead yet.... Am I?"