Losing Mr. Maxwell

Chapter Five - Sour and Sweet

Hello, are you guys alive? I would love to see more comments! What can I improve on? Are the chapters too long? Should I shorten them? Talk to meeeee ;_; Edit: I keep on fucking up Vincent's age. I'll only edit that, there's no update add on </3

It was overwhelming to be on this doorstep. So many things happened over the years, yet here I am confronting the things I fear the most. Has John been beating on my mother after I've left? Does mom have much time left? It was late at night and it was very silent-- so silent I was hearing the calm rhythm of my heart beating in my ears. I stared at the bell and Ian squeezed my shoulder.

"Ian." I sighed, "I-I'm scared..."

"It's best to confront your fears." he muttered, "I, too, am quite scared. I've never seen Anne since... well, before you were three months. I know she loves me, I love her dearly but... It's been so long. I'm not sure how she looks, the last time I saw her, her skin was turning a bit pale. She was still... peach... more on the light brown side, but a tad bit lighter. It scared me a lot when I found out about her sickness..."

I looked back at Ian, my heat beat increasing. I felt the usual tears build up, but my heart dropped at how defeated Ian looked. It seemed like he, himself, was on the brink of losing it.

"I love Anne, Azura." he whispered, "I don't want her to go, but... I've accepted it. I've accepted the fact that as every day pass by, she's slowly... dying. It took me a long time to accept it, but I'm so sorry for not telling you when I took you. I didn't want you to hate me any more than you did... You'd lock yourself in your room, you'd starve yourself... I said things hoping for a reaction, but that was it between us. I-I... I won't know what to do when she's gone, I don't know. We've never spoken in so long, yet I still love her so much. I've tried dating other women, but it never worked out... Azura... listen to me, as your friend... as your father, I beg you to ring that doorbell. I can't do it, I don't know who'll answer... because if it's John, I'm swinging. If it's Anne... I d-don't know what I'll do..."

Nodding, more to myself, I looked back at the doorbell. I raised my trembling hand to the doorbell and rubbed circles on it. Taking a deep breath, a pushed it and put my hand down. After about ten seconds, the door opened. She coughed into her arm and gave me a weak smile. Her usual peach skin was ghostly pale and she was sweating-- a lot. I stepped up and gently hugged her, afraid of hugging her too tight. Mom wrapped her frail arms around me and patted my back when I began to empty my tears.

"Mom..." I whispered.

She held me there for a long time. I figured she made eye contact with Ian. I just... couldn't stop. My tears rivered down her bare arm and she patted my back again, a gesture she used to do when I was younger. Why does this have to happen to me? Why does my family have to be pulled apart because of this? It's not fair... it's... so unfair... I hate it all. I hate it all! 

"I'm sorry." she said as she pulled back and looked at me, "You're so beautiful. Has Ian been taking care of you?"

I nodded and she wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry...I never told you about what was supposed to happen... He made you major in psychology, didn't he?"

I chuckled and nodded.We stared at each other for a long time, her once red lips pulled up into a sympathetic smile. Her eyes analyzed my face and she put her thumbs on my cheekbones. 

"My sweet Azura..." she whispered, "Don't cry. Everything's going to be alright." 

"Everything isn't going to be alright." I sobbed, hugging her again, "Mom, why didn't you ever tell me what was going on? All these years you had this sickness, all these years you've kept me in the dark. Why? Why would you do this to me, mom? I thought we told everything to each other, you always said you'd be there for me, so why can't I be here for you when you need me the most? Why mom, why?! I-I... you don't... understand h-how upset I am, mom! I'm going to lose you, we're going to lose you! Why didn't you ever get treatment mom?!"