Chp 7: Alex

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For fucks sake. I've wasted 2 strippers on Grizzly. I know about 666, they're Angelina's children. I know a lot, but half of them are Zebras. I'm really into Zebras, don't judge. 

Lauren was now starting to pet Gerard's uni-brow. He liked it and giggled. So she started riding him. Disturbed, I looked away. Grizzly was crying, his abs all tense, it was sad.

I have to find another stripper, but that would be successful this time. There HAS to be a stripper around here.

I used my sixth sense to find a stripper in the crowd. I found one, it was a male, but he was probably down to flirt with Grizzly.

I walk up to him, and say. 

''I know you're a stripper, I'll pay good money to make you do everything I want...'' I whisper to his wolf ear.

We walk to a private room inside the house. 

''How much?'' He asked through his mask. 

OH. I forgot to mention he was a Furry. A stripper furry... But I think I saw him somewhere.

''Did I see you somewhere before?'' I ask still trying to remember.

''Oh yeah. I'm in a group. ''The 3 Furrigos'' I'm the singer.'' He says maybe smiling, I don't know. I can't see his real face.

Wow. A singing Furry stripper.

 A singing Furry stripper

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''I'm Alex by the way.''

Plz don't kill me Alex irl if you're reading this.

''Well anyway. Here's what you're going to do.'' I tell him the plan and he agrees. ''I'll give you 200 bucks upstairs once you dumb him.''

''Okay. But warning. It might take a little while. About 30 minutes.'' He says. That was perfect timing. I leave, and go upstairs to emotionally prepare Pus'N'Boots.

Pus'N'Boots started swearing in Spanish. 

''WHERE WERE YOU?! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 2 HOURS.'' 

I roll my eyes.

''Hasta Luego...''(So long in Spanish.) ''Look. Listen up. In...'' I look at my clock. ''20 minutes, Grizzly is going to come upstairs, he'll be happy, and he'll be with a guy I paid to dump him. Once he'll be dumped, he'll be sad. You'll make him happy again, and offer him a date. Okay?''

He nods a bit confused. I tell him about all my plan, and the 2 strippers.

''Maybe... Since you've worked so hard.'' He says. ''I could just tell you what to talk about with Shrek?'' 

Excited, I smile.

''PLEASE TELL ME. I'VE WASTED 2 STRIPPERS ON HIM.'' I scream out excitedly.

''Talk about-''

Right when he was about to say it, the door to the roof opened. Alex and Grizzly were there. 

NO. 

FUCKING.

REGRETS.

AFTER.

WHAT.

MY.

UNCLE.

DID.

TO.

TRAUMATIZE.

ME.

(Inside joke-ish.)


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