unknown number↠ grayson dolan

12• Losing Someone

thantophobia
(n.) the phobia of losing someone you love

my heart sank. Ethan was my best friend. my only friend at times. we grew up together, learning to forgive, forget, and love.

through all our years from kindergarten to...to sixth grade of getting bullied, we were always there for each other.

and there sat my twin brother, my best friend, the one person i knew i could trust, i knew i could count on to be by my side no matter what, with a sliced throat.

i think the hardest part of losing someone, isn't only having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. always trying to fill the void, the emptiness that's left inside your heart when they go.

we all know...
you're going to lose people in your life. and realize that no matter how much time you spent with them or how much you appreciate them and told them so, it will never seem like it was enough.

i always thanked Ethan.
for being there for me.
for being my best friend.
i always told him i loved him and he told me, too.

i stood up and backed away into a corner so i could sit comfortably. i sat back down and curled up into a ball. i was crying. silently. Nate sat there, shocked.

the worse type of crying is the silent one. the one i was experiencing. the one where everyone is quiet. the one where you feel it in your throat and your eyes become blurry from the tears. the one where you just want to scream. the one where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quiet. the one where you can't breath anymore. the one when you realize the person that meant the most to you, is gone.

my phone was blowing up but i ignored it.

it hard...to lose someone you love. but it's even worse to lose yourself while loving them.

i know i probably sound cheesy right now but all i'm saying is the truth.

A/N
MAN I GOT REAL DEEP WITH MY WORDS IN THIS CHAPTER IM PROUD OF MYSELF!😂
well this story has kind of turned more into a book than a texting story soooo i decided to make a book two💛💛im pondering on what it should be called🤔