Cheater | 박지민

三

❝Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war and I don't think I am winning anymore.❞

The calm water was hitting against the riverbank, soft winds dancing on the deep blue water. Birds have went back home to feed their kids, leaving quiet chirping sounds echoing in my head. The sight that stood before me was stunning, able to calm my tensed up nerves down.

Han river.

It's been long since I last came here. People were passing by with laughters, smiles that were full with joy on their faces, which made me envy of. Here was the place where everything could have started yet will never happen. But if it really did happen, wouldn't it hurt more than now?

"Babe~ Look how beautiful this is. Too bad it isn't as pretty as you though." Hands interlocked as we took a walk around the city. Your eyes sparkled with admiration as you looked at the river before us that was painted in orange-yellow shades of the sun.

"Yah, how can you compare me to this marvelous creation?"  I hitted his shoulder in a joking manner, making him chuckle. "You are right. How can I compare you when you are the most beautiful creation that God have ever created. You know what?" He wiggled his eyebrows, cupping my flush red face with his warm hands.

"I am so gonna propose to this angel here and make you forever mine." You pulled me in, and gave me kiss on the lips. Lips that was filled with pure sweetness, pure truth and love in it. "I love you so much that no words can describe it."

Everything from your mouth were only lies. I was only left waiting patiently till this very day, still looking forward to when I can finally say " I do" and claim you as only mine.

And now, my hands was only left foreign without your hands in it. I closed my eyes, only remembering your presence next to me while my heart was still stubborn to not accept what you have became and has left to search for your true self.

A tear slipped out from the corner of my eye and rolled down my cheek. Because of you, I couldn't control my own self anymore, but only pills could.

The rooms in the apartment reminds me of you, Han River even fills me with the thoughts of you. How hard was it to keep you out of my mind? It was killing me in the inside by just walking on the streets as it was full of memories with you but I was still grateful that I came out, because if I didn't, I wouldn't have made a friend, named Taehyung.

Normal people would freak out if a stranger suddenly confronts you. But for people like me and Taehyung, we could trust each other instantly as we could hear hurt just from words and also believe that nobody can hurt us more than the people who had.

He said something that keep on sounding in my ear after he gave me his contact number and left, telling me I could always call him for comfort that you couldn't give anymore.

"Sometimes you can't let go of what is making you sad, because it was the only thing that made you happy. "