Echo Creek Mental Institution

Chapter 13: The Joy is in the Journey

C.C.U. was an apparently an acronym and was different then C.P.U., which stood for Computer Processing Unit and just meant the person in the video game you were playing with was just a computer.
No C.C.U. stood for Community Check Up. This was basically where, for an hour before pre-dinner time or whatever, everyone sat around and complained. There was a small, fluffy stuffed penguin (that made my stomach knot itself cause it reminded me about what happened earlier with Marco) that was the speaking penguin. Basically, we were thrown back to when we were 6 and didn't understand basic rotation of dialogue. But to be fair, people always believe what they have to say is more important the anything else so honestly a talking penguin should become more of a regular thing. Could you imagine having one of these at a sophisticated board meeting? All these old business guys with cigars in their mouth and a lack of hair on their heads waiting for a cuddly stuffed animal with big, glittery eyes to be passed to them before they can lay out a string of curse words about how stupid someone's proposal on how to level out the amount of profit the company is intaking?
As shown above, the meeting was very boring. It was a lot of talking about how things were missing or what movie we should watch tonight. About how no one likes the Sunday schedule and throughout the whole thing people were chatting quietly with their neighbors. I was stuck between a lanky fellow with greyish hair and a red nose who constantly checks and taps on his watch and some cute girl with pigtails and freckled cheeks who was swinging her legs and sucking on a lollipop. She kept pulling it out and making that pop sound and all I wanted to do was ask her where she got it. Whenever someone was eating I wanted to eat. I wanted to taste something, it's the only sense you have to specifically seek out. You're never waking through the park and think "hey! It tastes really good it today". No animal on earth survives just out of taste cause it's stupid. Imagine if it wasn't a thing? Restaurants would be so much more invested in the presentation and the texture of their foods. Avocados and bananas probably wouldn't be popular at all and oily things would be seen as repulsive. I mean, what would people's stance on jello even be?
"-Estella?" I'm thrown off my train of thought by my name. I look up to see pigtail girl handing me the penguin.
"Hm?" I take it from by the head and squish it. It's squishy.
"Want to introduce yourself?" The head person smiles. She had these grey eyes and white hair that sat on top of her head. She was pale and was probably older than she looks. She also had a gross name. Olga? It's weird.
My stomach suddenly knots. Had anyone else gone? What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to say why I was here? But what would I say I hadn't been diagnosed with anything when they admitted me. Why did the admit me without a diagnosis? Was 'attempted suicide' a diagnosis in itself?
"I'm Star." I finally say. Probably loudly, I didn't have great volume control. "I'm uh 15." Shit was I supposed to even say that? I look over at the person who nods.
"Is that all?" She swivels on her swiveling seat and I nod.
"I mean," I catch my tongue in my mouth. "Is there anything else I should say?"
"Not if you don't want to." She says with a cute smile.
"No I'm... i mean yeah no I'm good." I definitely messed that up somehow.
"Okay thank you, Star. Will you pass the penguin to our other new memeber?"
The fuck is that!? How was I supposed to know I just got here too!?
I just sat there looking around, seeing who looked like they wanted it. But no one did. Either that or I'm just too stupid to notice. I make eye contact who smiles.
"Star we said his name earlier in the meeting." Olga tests.
I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to tell her that I'm sorry I find it hard to pay attention when I don't care. I want to tell her I'm sorry I don't have great deduction skills. I wanted to scream. For a while I've wanted to scream but damn, there are too many houses around and well, people might think you're being murdered or something.
As my thoughts race, I ended up just passing it to the girl next to me who passed it down. It ended up going over halfway to meet this girl with black hair in two messy buns with braces and glasses and a lisp. She was happy for someone who decided she shouldn't be here. On top of that, she started talking about Nial Horton or whoever that 1D guy. Apparently she decided he loved her and won't listen to anyone who tells her he doesn't or can't. What the fuck?
I sigh and wait for the meeting to end, which it does. Everything does. Everything Ends. Absolutely nothing is forever. The good or the bad or he indifferent. Everything Ends. And you move on.
Sadly, sometimes that just takes over my head. Everything Ends. Nothing's forever. No seriously, name one thing that will last forever. Literally nothing, including literal nothingness, all end. At some point, everything you've ever worked towards, everything the whole world has worked for will collapse in on itself. So what's the point of trying? Whether or not I make friends in here is pointless cause I can bet you $5 our friendship will end as soon as I leave here. Everything Ends. And when that thought takes over your head... jeez it's hard to find a point in anything.
"But the joy is in the journey not the destination." Some neurotypical blue eyed bitch will say as she twirls her blond hair.
"Yeah. Well when the destination is death and we're all headed there it's hard to be all gung-ho about sitting through math class." Is what I would say if I had a spine.
But I don't so... silence it is.

YEAH SO THAT TRIP I TALKED ABOUT A FEW DAYS WENT SHIT BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I  MIGHTVE FINALLY MADE FRIENDS AT SCHOOL SO YAY? I DUNNO I FEEL ICKY RN SO ITS HARD TO DELIVER HOW COOL THAT IS FOR ME BUT... MEH

WOLFIE BEAN