Dinner ended and apparently we had a speaker. Wow. A fucking motivational speaker. I honestly hate them, I feel like they're always trying to get me to join some cult. They're also too happy. No one is that happy. I mean, I guess no one should be too sad yet here we are. Is there a disorder with reverse depression like you're always happy? Not like mania you're just like annoying optimistic?
Anyways, apparently the schedule was all rearranged for this guy, his name was Presto Change.
Anyways I ended up sitting on the edge of a long line of people. They all leaned in earnestly in a deep conversation that I couldn't hear and I just sat there silently. God I'm being such a bitch right now, if I want to hang with them I should just say. But then again, do I wanna just keep chasing them and trying to be friends when they obviously don't want me around? I don't wanna be a hindrance.
Conflict.
"Now kids settle down." A crisp voice cuts through the noise, yet the voices still lag. It's like no one heard him. So how did I?
"Enough!" His temper spikes and soon everyone did hear him. Orderlies and nurses make their rounds making the rowdy kids slightly less rowdy. Soon the hall is void of noise, safe of a few giggles and condescending voices.
"Now." Who I expect to be he head guy around here fixes his tie. "We have a nice speaker for all of you. I'm sorry about the changing schedule but he's someone you should all hear." Suspicious pause. I notice Marco over a few chairs fidgeting nervously with a string. He's taking deep breath and every so often Janna taps him and she taps back and the cycle continues. "Now without further or do... Mr. Change."
A short, stubby, ginger man with a top hat and the most ridiculous facial hair ever conceived skips his way onto stage. The orderly passes the microphone to him and he switches it in his hands a few times before striking a pose and says "What is up Echo Creek Mental Institution!!?!?!?!" Like he was the opening act at a concert and it was his job to get the crowd hyped. And uh let's just say we weren't about to do the wave anytime soon.
"My name is Mr. Change!" He begins to pace, twirling the microphone cord as he talks. I follow his gaze and turn to see the sea of mental inhibited teens before both of us. There had to be thirty kids in here, all wearing blank stares directed at the sparkly midget man on stage.
I turn back around and wait for him to continue.
"I'm Mr. Change here to Change you, misters. And mistresses, don't worry I never forget the ladies."
Gross.
"Now I'm here to get you guys ready for the real world! The exciting future that is your life! There are five, only five things, that'll prepare you for the future! Passion! Motivation! Opportunity! Patience! And a Goal! Okay okay okay... you guys got that?"
Jackie laughs a few seats down and whispers through her giggles a "no". She gets shushed for that and her and Janna poke fun at each other.
So Change repeats himself again. I'm pretty sure half the dinning hall fell asleep. I was debating it, I hated speeches.
"Now motivation! You gotta get moving! Ya know just reimagine the world and figure it how you can make it better! Get excited life is happening you just need-"
I hate to break it to Mr. C but dude, a third of the people are here because they can't get out of bed in the morning, another third are here cause they hate the world and the last 33% of us are here cause life isn't fucking exciting. Next.
"OKAY!" He screams so those who nodded off wake up with murder in their eyes (purely metaphorically but imagine if he woke Ludo up? Dude would be dead). "So next we have our passion!"
Oh goody
"Passion is the thing that drives you! What does your heart want to do? What do you yearn for? What makes you excited to reach the next day?"
Sleep. Can you be passionate about sleep? Cause boy let me tell you, sleep is marvelous. Not to disrespect my insomniac brethren but boy, have you ever taken a nap? Ever had a dream? I'm passionate about that shit it's like dying but without the commitment. Like friends with benefits with a reaper. Marvelous.
"Next is opportunity and that goes with patience. The more you're out there the more opportunities come and-"
Dude if I could I'd never leave my bed. In what world am I going to be strolling down the streets like I'm in any Tina Fey movie and some rich man is goin to stop me and be like "oh my god! You'd be perfect for a job I have! Want your own animated series? Cause man, you just look like the girl who's aspiration is just that!
Skip!
"And last is a goal!"
K I L L M E
"What is it all for?"
D E A T H
"What do you want to wake up one day and realize you accomplished?"
Honestly? Making it through this speech without strangling the neuro-typical to death with the fucking microphone cord he won't. Stop. Swooshing. Around.
"Follow these steps and your life is made!"
Dude I'm not even actually depressed and even I know life isn't as easy as five steps. What about family? You have to constantly keep in touch with them. And people? They're everywhere. You have to constantly talk with them like a normal person. In which of your categories does death fall under? A goal? I'd say dying should be everyone's goal. Imagine people trying to one up each other's death. Morbid, but I'd love to see "Death by Duck while Wearing Exactly 2,973 Post-it Notes and on a Flaming Tricycle While Screaming "FOR NARNIA BITCHES" as a headline.
Now that's a goal.
IM BACK AND DISTRESSED BUT NOT AS DISTRESSED CAUSE BOY I HAVE 2 REAL CLASSES ATM AND ONLY 2 FINALS TO WORRY ABOUT NOW! SO
FUCK YEAH
WOLFIE
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
Echo Creek Mental Institution
FanficTHIS BOOK ISNT FINISHED AND NEVER WILL BE -ugh can't you just believe me when I say this is a good book!?- Star Butterfly is living an unusually bland life. The only thing that would exciting about it is how she would die. Or kill herself, to be mor...
