Hold Me Close

Chapter Thirty: Advil

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Yay another book shoutout. Please, I beg of you, go and read and support the FurLife series by . One of the best books if you happen to like a LOT of yiff, blueberry waffles, turn ons, and "puppy batter." (Best line ever btw, puppy batter omfg I died lol xD
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

-=Alex=-

I-I can't. I fucked up. Big time. I don't even know what I was thinking! I don't even have an excuse for why. I'm such a fucking horrible person. I hurt the person I love. I've wronged him.

"Piece of shit you are Alex, always fucking everything up." I laughed out in despair. I punched my bureau, and even though it hurt like hell it felt good to take out my anger on something, even if the fury was because of myself. So I continued repeatedly smashing my fists into the heavy wooden bureau. When my rage subsided I looked down at my paw. Bloody cuts had lacerated my knuckles, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore. The person I love hates me now. Still clutched in my other paw was the necklace. Evan's necklace, the one he threw at me in disgust. Just the look of his face when he saw me was enough to fuck me up. I don't even know what I expected to happen by showing up at the hospital to see him. Quite honestly the thought never crossed my mind, all I knew was that by my knowledge he could have been dying...or dead, and I needed to see him. And while he seemed to be healthy again, he was still in a lot of pain, physically but mostly emotionally. I caused that pain. I couldn't stand it.

So I curled up into as tight of a ball as I could on my bed, clenching my teeth to prevent myself from screaming out.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

-=Evan=-

I wouldn't let anyone near me. I was of legal age so I just told the doctors to leave me be. I was unplugged from all machines, off all medications, and also off food. I just laid there, unmoving, staring blankly off out of the window next to my bed, observing the world outside. I was fine before he showed up. Well, not fine, but at least I was able to operate. But when he csme through those doors...I didn't care how fucking apologetic he was being, I couldn't stand to be anywhere around his presence without losing it, so it was the infamous path of isolation that I had chosen. Separated from everyone. But most of all, I never wanted to see that asshole Alex ever again.

Or so I thought.

Because I was still in the ER section of the hospital, I was able to hear everything. All of the rushed commotion was my source of entertainment here. Sometimes I would hear people running down halls, beds being rolled with patients on them, the occasional screaming child. Quite noisy, but also distracting, which is exactly what I needed right then and there, no people but still something to every once in a while take my mind off of who was in it. Today was no exception. I believe someone started out the day with a heart attack, and I heard a doctor explaining to who must've been a child by the way they talked that they would be fine and that the child had only broken a paw. Ouch. I-my father broke my paw once. Back in the sophomore year of highschool, he had somehow magically become so mad at me that my punishment was him pinning me down and snapping my paw back as far as he could. Fucking asshole.

From what I could gather it must be around lunchtime. The tell-tale sounds of rolling food trollies from the hospital cafeteria came from the hallway. My thoughts were confirmed when the standard noon knock sounded at the door, followed up by no answer from me the old female rabbit nurse I had begun to become familiar with begged at my door.

"C'mon hun you have to eat!" She said desparately. Still I didn't answer. Sighing, I heard the nurse walk away, wheeling my could-be food away. But another voice came from the hallway. This time not for me, but still loud enough that the whole ward probably heard them.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY! NURSE GET A CRASH CART, A WOLF FROM THE UNIVERSITY ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, ROOM 143 NOW!" A doctor screamed from the hallway. A wolf from the university? Wolves weren't necesarily a rare species, but if they were from the university maybe I'd know them. Probably not, but I needed to walk so I decided that I would go check it out. I mean why not? Not like every story doesn't have a convenient moment like this.

I slowly got up from my bed, pulling my hospital gown down over my body and slowly trudged through the waves of pain that flared at my body and over to the door. I opened it and stepped out, shielding my eyes from the bright fluorescent hallway lighting overhead. About halfway down the hallway from me two identical siamese paramedics rushed down the hallway, running the fur that must've tried to kill themselves away. I couldn't see who it was from my current position but I could see an arm hanging and swinging off of the side of the bed. But before I could get a good look at it they started to turn the corner, sheltering the patient from my view. I did see, however, something gold fall from the unknown patient's grasp and onto the floor, glinting in the light as it dropped onto the white tile floor of the hallway. I cautiously walked over to the lost object and slowly squatted down to avoid hurting myself to pick it up. When I got back into a standing position I looked down at the what I had determined to be a necklace in my paws. I was forced to squint to see it well, my eyes weren't yet adjusted to the light. When I was finally able to get a good look at it I almost fell to the floor. It was mine. I know I was mad, furious actually, and I still was, but nothing can prepare anyone for that.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

-=Alex=-

I woke up. Boring line right? But I wasn't supposed to wake up. Three full bottles of Advil PM should put a freaking bear out of the game like a light. But here I was. Fully aware of everything around me. I was facing towards the wall of what I could see now as a hospital wall. The memories rolled in one by one. Quickly reminding me why I was here, and also why that wasn't a fact that made me happy. I began to cry, sob actually.

"How could I be so fucking stupid!" I cried out to no one. "H-he fucking hates me and it's all my fault. I'm a fucking asshole who deserves to rot in hell, but I guess this is my hell now." I sobbed in dismay. But I wasn't alone.

"You are a fucking asshole. But you're my fucking asshole." A voice said from behind me. I bolted upright, looking at him.

"E-Ev-Evan I'm s-so sorr-" I began to say.

"So you've said. Many times now. So shut the fuck up." He interjected, cutting me off before pulling me into an embrace. Then we both broke down, crying, but at least partially relieved. Me most of all, with the wolf I never deserved. Ever.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hi. So heavy topics, and normally an after message after something like this would be some cheap PSA about suicide and telling things so repeated it's offensive, like "you're not alone" or "go get help" or some bullshit. Whatever, works for some people but I know that I personally would get pissed at something like that so I decided not to press things on people. I will say this though, listen to people. If they tell you they don't want help, don't hound on them for it. I've had my fair share of personal experiences and I can tell you that nothing is more infuriating. Anyways, sorry for my quick rant and on a happier note, thanks for reading 😜.