Kuroshitsuji: The Contract from Birth [Ciel Phantomhive]

[43] Her Butler, Recruited

- | Circus Arc |-

I kept my hands entirely to myself as everyone finished loading up our baggage, eyes locked on the ground no matter who passed by. It was incredibly eerie how easily I had fallen into this isolated and ashamed stupor. As though it had happened before.

However, I was fairly certain it hadn't, or I would have remembered how to handle being pushed away so suddenly.

Ciel stood a few feet to my left, in nearly the same pose as I was in. Hand on his cane and gaze averted.

We made eye contact once that entire morning and he had reacted with such disgust I nearly choked on my own confusion.

What in the world made him change his mind so bloody quickly? Ever since he caught the murderer-- who, I was told, was only an escaped convict-- Ciel had taken such a nasty attitude.

"Off we go now, dearie!" Yuki chirped, snapping me out of my thoughts and opening the carriage door for me, "the boat leaves soon, we wouldn't want to keep you from London any longer!"

I pressed my lips together, uneasy. She, along with the twins and Salvador, had been so incredibly relieved when Ciel announced the capture and termination of the perpetrator. I, too, was just as content as them for a moment, relieved and ever so proud, until I was shunned so abruptly by the one who had promised to settle things once they were over.

This must be things settled then, by his own accords.

I should not have expected so much.

"My Lady, won't you step inside?" Rodric asked, extending his hand to me.

My feet shuffled a bit as I regained my composure and I nodded, taking it slowly.

Three days.

Three days pervaded with feeling so ignored. Embarrassed. Regretful.

It must have been Elizabeth. Of course, he loved her. It was dimwitted of me to think otherwise.

Leave her for me? What a preposterous fantasy.

What was left now for me to do was fix my mistake. And the only way to achieve that was to pretend nothing had ever happened.

I couldn't think of an ulterior solution.

Book in hand, Eren made his way to the carriage and bowed his head lowly as his sister folded in the length of my dress once I was seated, humming softly to herself as she did. Ciel approached both of them from behind slowly, frown in place, and Erin happily stepped back to allow him room, smile bright and cheery. I looked out of the other window swiftly and began counting backwards from a thousand to distract me.

"Have a good ride, Earl!" Erin called to Ciel once he was inside.

"Remember to take good care of the Countess!" Eren added, waving his hand back and forth before Salvador clicked the door shut.

The book Eren had left beside me lay forgotten as I became lost in my thoughts, the thick silence in the carriage separating us even further. I had already bid my farewells and was only waiting for a butler to take the reigns of the horses and lead us away and to the sea.

I twiddled my thumbs impatiently.

What could I have possibly done?

"We shall be taking our leave now." Rodric's voice called from the driver's seat, but neither of us responded.

Idly, I leaned my head against the frosting window and kept my eyes closed. I should not have invited him to come along in the first place. None of this would have happened. My confession. His repulsion. The deaths. The distress.