Entries 20-26

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December 31, 2014

It's New Year's Eve and we are going to a party that I don't want to go to.

It's going to be so fun, I can't wait to get drunk.

January 1, 2015

You'll never guess who my New Year's kiss was. First, the story is that Luke likes Ashton and wants to see if Ashton likes him back so he asked me to be his New Year's kiss after telling me the whole story. I agreed of course and we kissed. It mayhave gotten a little heated, or a lot, but it was amazing. I may or may not have seen Ashton behind Luke mid-kiss, he was fuming as he marched over to us and shoved me to the ground and took Luke for himself. Luke looked at me from over Ashton's shoulder, but I just gave him a big thumbs up and he smiled, mouthing a thank you before he left with Ashton.

There goes one couple. I'm glad I helped Luke, he helps me a lot so he deserves it. I'm kind of just wondering where my love life is going. I haven't been with anyone in a long time and the kiss with Luke is the most action I've gotten in a long time. Wow, I'm a loser.

Anyway, I saw Michael kissing Ruby and her eyes were wide open the whole time! What the fuck?! She aggravates me.

Then I saw her all alone, well not alone, but she wasn't with Michael. She was with some guy, making out in a corner and I'm sure it's her. She's hard to miss.

I search the crowd for my now orange haired friend and pulled him over to look, and when I showed him he said that it wasn't her! What the hell, if he doesn't know what his girlfriend's back side looks like, there's something wrong in that relationship, or relationshit. Ha, ha, I'm funny.

Then he yelled at me for trying to split them up blah blah blah.

Dude, I know I want your relationship to stop with her, but I'm not one to purposely sabotage something on purpose.

I seriously thought he knew me better but I guess I was wrong.

I have no more open skin on my arms. Everything is beginning to overlap so I'm going to have to be extra careful to not end up in the hospital because there's no doubt that they'll find out if I go and we can't have that. I don't do therapy.

My phone buzzed and Michael sent me a picture. That's weird. It's a picture of him and me. I don't answer him. How dare he send me that? Our friendship is nothing like that anymore, it almost disgusts me. Nothings been the same since she came along and I hate her for it.

I miss the way we would cuddle at night, those nights were when I slpet the best, but why can't I just forget them? I can never escape the memories we made that are permanently etched in my brain, only if I woke one day and forgot everything, then maybe he'd pay me more attention. I'm fine without him though, right?

I'm fine.

I'm fine,

I'm not fine.

Im not fine at all.

Im really not fine at all.

January 2nd, 2015

I wish I could forget all of those little things.

January 3rd, 2015

Michael's present arrived today so I slapped a bow on it and threw it on his bed. He'll find it sooner or later, I guess. Well, hopefully. Hold on, there's shouting.

Somebody switched out my gift to Michael and I'm pissed. I wonder who did it. (note the sarcasm) So apparently they just put like a rock in it or something, I'm beyond angry. Be back in a bit.

This is officially the worst day of my life.

Michael hates me so I stormed out, the best part is that it's down pouring. You're getting wet, so I'm going to save your life, little book.

January 20, 2015

I fucking lost you. I lost you, my precious little book. I about went crazy, until Ruby handed it to me. My life is officially over. Ruby knows everything about me now.

January 24, 2015

I don't want to do anything for my birthday tomorrow, shoot me.

January 26, 2015

I woke to confetti and yelling this morning, let me just tell you, I wanted to sleep in. After much moaning and groaning, they didn't leave until I got up and ate a birthday cupcake, boo hoo. Michael actually ignored Ruby today and spent a lot of time with me. Despite the Christmas present mishap, he seemed to have put it behind him for today at least. We cuddled on the couch until we went out to eat and he sat next to me and ate most of my desert, but I didn't care. Luke had snapped a secret picture of us and sent it to me, which then turned into my phone background. It was great, I was looking up at Michael while he was looking down at something. I looked so small which I think, made it look better. Then, he slept with me, well next to me. We cuddled, just like I remembered we used to.

That was the best birthday of my life.

a/n: double update because I went mia for a few days yey hi hope you like, bye

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