i am going to do a journal entry and then a real life thing i think sooooo we'll see
June
I dont know what day it is, I don't know where I am. When I woke, nobody was in here, I am all alone. I'm not going to even hide the fact that I'm writing in here anymore since the whole world knows about it now. I just wont let them read it anymore. Fuck life.
-cal
I woke to a bright light, the hospital ceiling is white as fuck, maybe because the light was right above my head. Who's genius idea was that? I don't see anyone in in the room and I've got to say I'm kind of disappointed in a way. They put me in the sack of shit and they've just abandoned me? Awesome. Just as my negative thoughts begin to consume me, the door handle jiggles and someone walks in. That someone being Michael.
"Hey." he says, looking happy I'm awake, unlike me.
"Hi." I mutter, not very happy. News about this had to have gone around by now, everyone will know I'm here and I, once again, will be a disappointment.
"How are you feeling?" he asks, sitting in a chair next to my bed, is hands griping a paper cup with something steaming inside. My guess is that it was coffee, I could go for one of those.
"Oh, just peachy." I almost snap. My brain is tired, and everything is just not good. My wrist is bandaged, wrapped in gauze which I'm greatful for because I couldn't stand to look at it, or my abused skin. The spot where the battlefeild in my head became a scene on my skin that ended up hurting everyone.
"Calum." Michael sighed. "I know you don't want to be alive." he says, choking on the last word. "But I do. I want you here, Calum." he whispers and I can't find anything to say as he stares in his makeshift mug, watching the steam rise.
"Why?" I mumble, trying to grasp onto this moment. Why would he want me here when he barely noticed my existence when Ruby was around? Im like, his second best or something. "When Ruby was here I was barely in your peripheral view. I was your second choice and I've been your best friend for years and suddenly this girl walks in and you turn into this guy I've never seen before." I say, my voice cracking as I spoke. "What happened?" I asked. When he didn't answer, I threw my head back in frustration, and let out an exasperated sigh. "Whatever." I mumble, turning on my side so my back is facing him.
"Calum." he sighs.
"Leave me alone." I grumble, closing my eyes. I hear footsteps and then the sound of a door opening and closing. I feel my eyes water as I hear the door latch, and I finally start sobbing.
a/n: hey i changed the name, and the cover..lol i hope you like this. It's nowhere near done...i don't think ha
