Hello... Again

This Can't be Happening to Me

Author's Note: For a better reading experience, please listen to Last to Know by Three Day's Grace while reading this chapter.

The door let out a brief squeal before being followed by a wham. Black boots thumped across the floor. A black curtain laggedly billowed between the aisles of the desks. A second door opened. Severus collapsed into his chair. An elbow thudded onto the wooden surface as Severus's thumb and primary two fingers supported the weight of his forehead.

Severus pulled the ungraded midterm exams and his red ink bottle from his drawer. The written words filled his vision, but nothing registered into his brain. He sat like this for many minutes - staring at the parchment before him. Though looking down at the student's cursive scrawl, what Severus saw were other images.

Fiery red hair being manipulated by the wind. Dark brown kinks blowing over the Black Lake. A Gryffindor crest on the black robes of a female red head. A Slytherin girl sitting across from him at the dinner table in the Great Hall. The body of a dead young mother in his arms as the wind howled and lightning flashed. A brunette with her eyes closed, face full of passion; the moonlight being the only light source.

Severus's head crashed onto the desk before him. His hands clenching hair from either side of his skull. Severus let out a groan in his frustration.
This isn't happening to me...
This can't be happening to me!

Brown eyes threatening to spill tears looked up at him through darker brown hair. The sunlight penetrating the room doing nothing to stop the darkness that gaze harboured.

She didn't say a word... I just walked away.

Green eyes burned into him. A younger projection of Severus fell to his knees as red hair danced through his fingertips. The red headed female walked away clinging to the arm of a brunette Gryffindor boy.

She didn't say a word as she just walked away. This was my first love... She was the first to go. When she left me for you, I was the last to know.

Severus and a brunette female Slytherin casually talked while seated at the trunk of a large tree in the Hogwarts Courtyard. Their words were inaudible. They worked on their own respective homework assignments.

Severus distantly remembered those days. He and Agnes would openly talk about anything and everything once Severus had opened up to her. Almost everything.
Why didn't she tell me...?
He couldn't tell her that he loved Lily Evans. And he would always love Lily Evans... right?

Enraged with his confusion, Severus threw everything within armspan-radius to the floor below. It was as though those two women were fighting for their time inside his mind. If he only loved Lily, then why did he do what - whom - he did the night before?
Severus stared at the wall before him.

This isn't happening to me...
This can't be happening to me.

Agnes's tear stained face won the battle. He'd made her cry so much, hadn't he?

Words that Severus strangely recognized from somewhere whispered their way into his conscious.
I'll be the first to say that now I'm OK. And for the first time, I've opened up my eyes. That was my worst love...

Severus covered his head with his forearms as he screamed his frustration.
This isn't happening to me...
This can't be happening to me...

Author's Note: This chapter was a look inside Severus's oh-so-confused mind.
This chapter was also inspired by Last to Know by Three Day's Grace.

Almost all of my chapters are inspired by a song. This chapter is more obvious, though. I thought that adding the lyrics fit well with the writing.

I do not own the italicized lyrics. Three Day's Grace does.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
Next up, it is Agnes's turn.

~ DJ-Kyoto