What Goes Around... || H.S. Harry Styles

40.

"I need to talk to you about something," she says softly, watching the sweet expression drop from his face.

His stomach somersaults with the memory of her phone message saying the same thing. He had thought to ask her what she wanted to discuss so many times after the accident but she never brought it up again so he hoped that maybe he dodged a bullet and let sleeping dogs lie.

If he is being honest he has been excepting this since the moment Jamie had 'introduced' them. He expected her to leave, continue to live her life without him, not risk being hurt again. He never dreamt that he would have had this time with her so he is reminding himself that every minute has been a blessing, a gift that he isn't worthy of, one that he will never get over for as long as he lives. He never wants to.

He doesn't realise that he is holding his breath, waiting for her to tell him that she tried but it's not working or that she doesn't feel what he does. He's not entirely sure how is going to recover from this but again, he's just thanking whoever was listening that he got to tell her he loves her and even show her for the second time in his life.

Tash realises his body has completely stiffened, his eyes not blinking, scared to miss a fraction of a second. He's stopping breathing and she realises immediately what is happening.

"No, Harry," she shakes her head and stands from her stool, her hands reaching out to touch him as soon as she is close enough, his eyes widening as if he doesn't quite know what to believe. 

"We are fine. Great even, don't you think? Can you not remember what happened in that bed like, four hours ago?" She tries to joke as she pushes him away from his tea so she can curl into his lap.

His hands are shaking and he swallows the lump in his throat and the smell of her shampoo fills his nose when her tiny frame rests in his arms.

She doesn't realise it in the moment but comforting him and being with him in this way comes so naturally to her she doesn't give it a second thought.

The numbing fear is still clouding his mind when she presses her lips to his one then twice, his mouth barely moving against hers as he tries to settle his thumping heartbeat.

Her fingers comb through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp in an attempt to bring him back to her, she can't tell him about Des in this state and she is starting to grasp just how deeply his feelings for her are ingrained in him.

"We are fine," she repeats as she kisses his face and Harry's breathing starts to return to a normal pace.

"Are you alright?" He asks pulling back and watching her eyes for the truth, his second guess starting to scare him more than the first.

"Yes honey, it's nothing like that," she reassures him and takes a deep breath before speaking, she really doesn't know how he is going to react to this.

"Go on, couldn't be that bad then?" He mumbles mainly to himself.

"Well... I-I saw your father the other day."

The colour drains from his face and he instantly looks like he is going to be sick.

He tries to move her off his lap as carefully as he can when he all of a sudden feels like he can't breathe. She jumps off him when she realises what he is silently requesting and he runs a hand through his hair and tugs at the roots as he paces the few steps of the little kitchen.

"What do you mean you saw him? Where? Did you contact him? Did you speak to him? Is he living here? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He rattles off questions at the speed they enter his brain.

"Of course I didn't contact him." She blurts out first as he stops pacing to take in what she is saying, his body keeping a physical distance between them that she all of a sudden loathes. "I'm doing work for his company, I swear I didn't realise it was him! He's in London, yes, but I have no idea where, we didn't really talk that much, I needed to get out of there and I wanted to tell you but then I had that stupid accident."

Harry's brows frown and all she wants to do is kiss him and wipe away the hurt that is projecting from his face. She cant explain the feeling that is taking over, she wants to protect him from whatever has haunted his dreams and ghosts his thoughts. Maybe this is how he feels when he wants to look after her?

"You were with that Zayn guy before the accident," Harry clarifies and Tash speaks with extreme caution when she explains, "I was, Harry. Honey, I had no idea but... Zayn is his step-son."

Harry expels the breath in his lungs with a sharp puff, taking a step back as if she has physically hit him and she instinctively reaches out to touch him but he flinches away.

"You quit right?" He almost spits accusingly, knowing from the conversations about work this week that she has done no such thing.

"Harry, he said he wanted to talk to you, I don't understa-"

"I don't want to fucking talk to him!" Harry screams, cutting her off and making her jump at the sudden fury lacing his features.

"Maybe-"

"No! No maybe's Nat! Tell him you can't work with him!" He orders and irrational anger runs through her veins.

"Harry, you can't tell me who to work with! This is a big account, I need it, I'll ask not to deal with him." She compromises, years of being on her own and subsequently told what is best for her only to be completely fucked over is starting to creep out in the form of defensiveness.

"Let me get this straight Natasha," he scolds only making her more furious. "This Zayn dick goes out of his way to make you uncomfortable, makes advances towards you and touches you without permission and you don't quit," his tone is harsh and condescending and filled with not only jealously but genuine bewilderment. "And NOW you find out his partner is my estranged father who I told you left us and cheated on my mum and that's OK with you?"

She can feel the words bubbling up and she knows it's uncalled for and petty but it's too late to stop them.

"Well, I took you back didn't I?" She screams and her words echo off the small walls and fade into the silence that follows.

They stare at each other for three shallow breaths. All she hears is Harry swallow back the tears forming in his eyes that are holding so many emotions it's hard to decipher which one is most prominent.

Finally, he rolls his lips together and looks at his feet, his head nodding slowly and when he brings his eyes back to hers there are tears falling from them.

Realisation hits him like a ton of bricks, if she sees him in the same way he sees his father then there is absolutely no possible chance of their survival. None.

He sniffles before wiping his damp cheeks, pulling his boots on and it hurts with every heartbeat as he walks out the door.

A/N:

ok gather round...group hug!

Next update tomorrow!

Love Ruby

x