Turn To You

For The First Time

(A/N) PLEASE DON'T COMMENT “PLEASE UPDATE” IT MAKES ME SAD AND THINK YOU DIDN’T READ MY CHAPTER :C LONG COMMENTS ARE LOVED AND EVEN IF YOU REPEAT YOURSELF 445645656767 TIMES I DON’T CARE BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL MY LITTLE CARROT CAKES AND I LOVE YOU. 

People change. 

It’s something that happens to everyone. It will happen to you, it will happen to me. It happens to the best and worst of us, and I suppose that’s why things were weird with Zayn and I.

“Do you to go to starbucks? Or you don’t like coffee, right?” Zayn asked, arching his brow at me. I shook my head.

“I love coffee,” I said, smiling up at him. He looked at me wide eyed, seeming baffled by my words. I thought back to when we were younger, remembering how much I turned my nose up at even the thought of coffee. I’d started drinking it when I moved to the U.S. 

I stood up on my toes slightly, planting a light kiss on his lips. I smiled against them. Despite the changes, I never ceased to stop the butterflies in my stomach when we kissed. He smiled down at me, planting a warm kiss on my nose. 

“Is there anything else you want to tell me that’s changed about you?” Zayn asked, a small smirk on his lips. I looked at his amber eyes, seeing an almost pained look in his eyes. How long was I supposed to wait to explain to him how much I’d grown up? Or how much he’d grown up? I sighed, shaking my head.

Things didn’t feel right with Zayn, despite how good it felt to finally be able to talk to him, I couldn’t bring myself to be happy with how we were. It felt like I was meeting him for the first time, and as much as I wanted to be comfortable with it, I wasn’t. I wanted to hold his hand, and hold him, and just know everything like I had when we were sixteen. But things changed so much, I could barely look at him like he was the same Zayn anymore. 

“Are you coming to the party tonight?” Zayn asked, obviously trying to change the subject. I shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t think so - not with the press still spreading rumors about me,” I sighed. Recently the press had been saying that Zayn had knocked me up, and that’s why he and I had been spending so much time together. I hated the nasty rumors, but I guess I’d have to get used to them eventually. 

Zayn leaned down and planted a warm kiss on my lips, his arms wrapping around my scarf covered neck. I wasn’t sure if I was coming down with something, or if New York city was really just that cold, but I’d recently found myself having to layer a lot more of my clothing. 

I liked the feel of his arms around my neck, and the way my arms fit so perfectly around his waist. This made things okay again, the way our bodies meshed together so well. 

Zayn walked me back to our hotel, and then with one last kiss I sent him off to enjoy his party with the boys. He liked to party, and I knew I could trust him - I’d known the boy my entire life, and as much as a person can change, one does not go from being a cheater to a cheater overnight. You get warning, especially when they’re an international pop sensation. 

~~~

I heard a loud knock at the door, and assuming it was Lauren drunkenly forgetting she had a room key, I stood up and moved to open the door. Upon opening the door, I found a slightly intoxicated Zayn with a black plastic bag in his hand. I looked him up and down, confused. He’d let his hair go to a mess, as if he’d been constantly running his fingers through it, and as for his clothing, they were a bit wrinkled, nothing major. 

“Zayn?” I questioned as he advanced into the room, pushing right passed me. I watched him pace up and down the room frantically, not searching for anything, but merely pacing.