Black Butler: Alternate Universe

He Writes his own Scenario

{Demon Scum: Hello dearest reader, and welcome to our scenarios. As you may recall that Author-San had a little argument with us last week, so this week we will be writing our own scenarios in the belief that we do not need her. I hope you greatly enjoy them.}

That Annoying Brat.

Well, (y/n) is... she's very, um... I uh...

"Young master, are you blushing?" Sebastian asked.

"I- I am not!" I snap, "get out of my scenario!"

Now, as I was saying. I... uh, I... she's really nice and I... erm...

[3 hours later...]

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I... I, uh... I really... uh... iloveheralot!

"Hehehe," a voice laughs, "even the young master gets nervous around ladies,"

"This Is an order. Get OUT of my scenario!"

Bassy Darling!

[Demon Scum: Who put Grell in charge of character introductions?!

Ciel: it was that or general commands. And I didn't fancy giving her the chance to change my name to 'brat' every time I spoke. So I put William in charge of them instead.

Demon Scum: that might not have been a smart idea either...

Ciel: I think it was a great idea.

Demon Scum: hmph!]

When I wake up I unfortunately have a great many chores to complete before I can see (y/n). The young master needs breakfast and tea, the other servants need their jobs done for them. It is a great pain, but I usually have time to steal a few moments with her. On days where my only duties are cleaning and cooking though, I often slow down the speed at which I complete these tasks so we might do them together. It is unfortunate that we can't spend more time together, but unfortunately the young master does not warrant me much free time, and I have no choice but to obey him. Such is the butler aesthetic. (Y/n) is extremely tolerant of my situation, and I can't thank her enough for that.

The Most Fabulous Person in all of these Scenarios!

Well obviously I hate (y/n). She's a pathetic wench who tried to steal my Bassy from me. Why should I possibly like her? There's no reason to like her in the slightest. I soooooo hate her. Obviously. Yeah.

Noooooooo! I love her! Why do I love her?! It makes no logical sense?! Why? Why does love make no sense? There should really be a Shakespeare quote about that... I might go look it up. Give me a minute...

Mr. (Sexy) B Average

Well firstly I don't approve of this revolt... it's breaking the rules. We are not supposed to break rules, it's against the reaper code. However, I have noticed the increasing presence of Grell in my Scenarios, and feel it's my duty to prove that a perfectly good scenario can be written without the presence of that imbecile. So here goes.

I love (y/n). She's a perfect reaper, and person. Obviously she has her flaws, I'm sure everyone does, but she makes me smile and I'm fairly certain no one else can do that. If at all possible I want to treasure her as long as the rest of our reaper lives last (which admittedly isn't likely to be long given the state this dispatch is in) but whatever happens, I wish to try protect her with my life no matter what.

[Sutcliff: Aww! How cute!!!!

William: shut up!]

Undertaker

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Oh, sorry, (y/n) told me a joke.

Druitt

The beautiful flower of divine and truest love bloomed the day I first lay eyes on the beautiful and perfect soul that is (y/n). It was clear from that precise moment that my nightingale would become the only song bird I would ever need. I who had enjoyed many a song before I met her, was now entranced by a singular melody! Now when we go out I see none but her, as I am sure that every other pair of eyes also have room for her alone. Beautiful! Passion! A vision of colour in my sight! A world without her cannot stand, and empire cannot help but fall! But our eternal empire of love shall be evergreen!!!

[Undertaker: well, I've just done the final proof read, and...

it's crap.

Ciel: ugh, I knew this would happen.

Sutcliff: Impossible! It has to be amazing!

Druitt: my literary talent is supposed to be unrivalled.

Undertaker: yeah well the Viscount actually wrote one of the better ones...

William: ok, we're doomed. I told you this would happen!

Demon Scum: I think we might need Author-San back.

Sutcliff: no! What could we have possibly don wrong?!

Me: erm... well you told the reader you hated her and abandoned your scenario part way through to look for Shakespeare quotes. In fact the only person who wrote something even slightly resembling a scenario was Sebastian.

Demon Scum: well if I couldn't do this much, what kind of butler would I be?

Me: guess so. Anyway, mind if I write the next lot?

Sutcliff: ok then...

Me: Good, although I might leave Grell in charge of character intros...

Everyone else: plEASE NO!

Me: hehehehe, I'm back!]