You Come First

15

Sallys pov:

Dear Diary, I feel like shit. Liams a bit of a twat really ain't he ? Cba.

I scribbled over the writing on the first page of my diary. Who am I even kidding? Diaries are not for me because I already have a human diary . And that's Liam.

" Sally love?" I heard Peggys voice and knocking on the door.

Great.

" Coming!" I shouted back and went downstairs to open the door " Come on in" I smiled and let her in.

She smiled back uncomfortably and followed me in to the kitchen shutting the door behind her.

" So where the hell is my mum and dad?" I decided to crack the tension with small talk.

" I'm here to tell ya they got a wee bit too drunk. They'll be staying in Pauls room love. "

"They couldn't make it home? It's barely a 5 minute walk."

" Lads had to help your dad to bed and your mum fell asleep downstairs so our Noel carried her up"

I let out a giggle imagining Noel carrying her up. I'm sure he didn't mind that one bit. He always had a thing for my mum which makes me feel weird because I'm the young identical version of her.

"You alright anyway, what happened ?"

" Liam just got a bit too drunk" I sighed " we were going to tell my parents that were together and then we got in to an argument."

" Drunk ey?"

I couldn't help but feel like she knew what I was thinking.

I raised an eyebrow and she nodded her head.

"Yes I know what they have been up to, I always know what you kids have been up to you know? " she took a short pause . I'm not sure how she knows but she knows. I guess she can tell by our behaviour. " They had summat to eat and I took them upstairs for a talk. Liam said he felt bad."

" He broke up with me " I told her.

"I know but he's a silly boy and you know he chats shite sometimes."

" He really hurt my feelings" I said sitting down on one of the chairs and pulling out one of the cigarettes.

Peggy sat down on the opposite side and sparked a cigarette up too.

" Sally you have to think there are bigger problems in the world." She said in a small voice. " My boys have been through a lot and I know it's no excuse but Liam is slightly..."

" arrogant ? A drama queen? Rude?"

She tutted and laughed. " I was going for different. You know how he is,especially after a drink and whatever else he's had . He becomes massive twat."

" I know" I said snobbily.

" Well then can you make up with him?"

I thought about it for a second. Why is she the one talking to me? If Liam felt bad he would be here apologising right now. Not Peggy.

"I'm sorry Peggy but if he can't come talk to me then I don't see there being a point in us making up."

" What do you mean by that?" She raised an eyebrow.

" Liam upset me, he should be the one talking to me. Not you. I know it sounds harsh coming from me but I honestly believe that he should have been here hours ago. He never even tries ."

" You can't say that Sal." Her tone changed in to a colder one " He was really trying when you first left school"

" He fucked up bad that time"

" Yes but he tried "

" That doesn't even make sense. If he can apologise for doing something bad then why can't he just apologise for fucking up slightly now?"

" Because you've upset him too."

"What ?" I couldnt understand what she was trying to tell me.

" All his life his dad has been telling him that he's embarrassed of him and Noel and Paul. Liam only lost it because you said you was embarrassed of him ."

" I didn't mean that!" I said defensively.

"Do you think he really meant that you shouldn't be together. He only said that because you said you were embarrassed of him." Peggys Irish accent was coming through strong.

" But I only said that because I was mad."

"Then it's a cycle." She sighed and stood up heading for the door " I'll leave you to think love."

When she left I was left alone to think. I didn't really know what to make of my life anymore. I missed the days where me and Ally were like sisters. When my uncle wouldn't touch me and his girlfriend never made me do funny things. I missed being young and my mum being off work. I miss our family trips and my dad carrying me up to bed every time I fell asleep on the sofa after promising I wouldn't and being adamant that I was only resting my eyes. Everything changed the day I moved to Manchester. My uncle started drinking, my parents always worked and sent me to stay with Ally a lot if I was off school. When I met Liam trouble started. Nicking clothes off people's washing lines just to sell them and buy some weed is not something I wanted to do at a young age. We always skipped school and recently Liam even got expelled for fighting but I somehow managed to convince the head teacher that Liam has changed. I wonder if he passed his GCSE's. Wow I wonder if I had passed mine.

Everything around me was changing and I wasn't taking the pressure easy. I decided that although I upset Liam, he upset me first by doing a shitty thing. I would only apologise for what I said if he apologised to me first for ruining the night.

Dear Diary . Again *sigh*. Ignore the scribbles because I think I meant what I said. I do love him though❤.

I ripped out the piece of paper and threw it in the bin. I wanted my real diary.

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