harry styles imagines

insecure

Since you could remember, your weight has always been a big problem for you. Growing up you were known as the fat kid. You were so used to people coming up to you and saying, “You’re so pretty, but you’d be prettier if you lost a couple of pounds.” 
It never really bothered you until you got to high school. Yes, the insults hurt. Yes, you always compared yourself to other girls. Who doesn’t right? You thought your skin was thick enough to just ignore all those insults until one day you found yourself kneeling in front of the toilet forcing yourself to throw up. You overcame it, you stopped doing that when you turned 17. However since you started dating harry the urge to do it again seemed to be coming back. He’s perfect, he showers you with compliments and tells you that he loves your curves, but he hangs out with stick thin models. Stick thin models that are skinnier and definitely prettier than you.

Santorini, Greece is a beautiful place to be this time of year. The historic feel and the beaches really fit together.

You and harry were getting ready for dinner together with Louis,niall,liam,briana and lou and knadall and a few more frinds

“Babe, are you almost ready? Dinner starts in 15 minutes!” You hear him shout from your bedroom.

“I’ll be out in a second! I’m just fixing my hair!” You yell back from the bathroom.

You wanted to look beautiful tonight just because. You put on a beautiful black knee length dress . You felt beautiful.

harry jumps up when he hears the bathroom door unlock and stares at you lovingly, “You are stunning Y/N. You look absolutely stunning!”
harry was wearing black skinny jeams and a white t shirt

You kiss him on the cheek, say a small thank you and hide your blush as you walk hand in hand to the restaurant to meet your friends. The minute your friends spotted you and Harry, briana and lou run to you gushing about how beautiful you look.

Harry chuckles, “Guys let her breathe, you’re suffocating her.”

“Sorry, but she looks beautiful!” lou squeals

“Thank you lou.” You said, squeezing her hand.

"kendall has been staring at Harry, the minute you walked in.” briana whispers in my ear.

You look at kendall to see she was wearing very tight white skirt and blouse

if what briana said was true and to your surprise harry is actually giving her the attention she wants.

Dinner was served and you engaged yourself with casual conversation with everyone in the table, but you can’t seem to keep looking at kendall and comparing yourself to her.

harry squeezed your hand as though he senses something wrong, “You okay?” He whispers in your ear.

You shake your head and smile at him, “Yes. I’m good baby.”

“Yo, harry and kendall, I forgot you guys did a music video together!” niall says.(just think they did)

“Oh yeah, you and harry were making out like crazy man. You totally enjoyed it, didn’t you buddy?” louis  teases harry.

“He sure is a great kisser.” kendall says winking at Harry.

harry laughs, “You weren’t so bad yourself.”

Suddenly you felt sick to your stomach. You excused yourself and ran out of the restaurant. Your head was spinning. Your insecurities were taking over you as you made your way to your villa and running straight to the bathroom. The kiss didn’t bother you because you knew it was all work, and for the last 2 years you’ve been with harry, he’s always proved that he loves you. It wasn’t the kiss, but it was the fact that kendall was perfect. She was beautiful, and skinny so why is harry with you and not her? They’d be perfect for each other.

Locking the door of the bathroom you kneel down in front of the toilet your fingers inside your mouth about to puke when you hear a banging.

“Y/N! DON’T DO IT!! OPEN THE DOOR AND GET AWAY FROM THE TOILET!”

You panicked, debating on opening the door or not.

Opening the door, your tear stained face meets his worried one. He runs to the toilet to make sure there was no sign of your dinner in it. He runs to you and hugs you.

“Why are you freaking out?” You asked casually, tears dripping onto his back.

“No, don’t do that.” He says grabbing your shoulders and making you stare into his eyes.

“You think I dont know? I didn’t figure it out till a couple days ago, but I know you. I know you better than I know myself Y/N. You’re going back into your old ways.” He says

“How did you-?”

“You’ve been losing weight like crazy, Y/N, you eat barely nothing one meal then eat a lot the next. You go into the bathroom and the shower is always running. I had a feeling that you had an eating disorder, but I didn’t want to be an ass and accuse you of it. I called your Mom. You know how I felt when she told me about your bulimia while she balled her eyes out? I felt responsible for putting you back into your old ways. I felt horrible for putting you in a vulnerable place where everyone can judge you because you’re dating me.” He explains tears falling from his green orbs.

“Bane no. It was never you. It’s my own insecurities and my own demons that made me do those things. I had bulimia in high school and my parents found out. They had me see a counselor to fix me, and it helped for a while. But harru look at girls like kendall, taylor . They’re beautiful and skinny. You belong with them. You belong with someone who’s as perfect as you.” You cried.

“Oh Y/N!” He says hugging you tight.

“Baby look at me. I don’t belong with them. I belong with you. They don’t have my soul and heart. You do. Whatever I did to make you feel like that, I don’t know, but we’re gonna get through this together Y/N. You are so beautiful baby, so perfect and kind. Those people in high school that hurt you don’t matter anymore. You’re here baby. You’re here with me. Look at me sweetheart, I’m not perfect. I’m not even close to it. You don’t have to be stick thin to be beautiful. You don’t have to be a model to be beautiful. You are already beautiful. These curves baby? They’re the perfect place for my hands to feel when we’re making love. These thighs are amazing. You butt? It’s perfect and I love them. Your beautiful brown eyes? I love to stare at them every time I tell you I love you. Your lips? They’re softest lips to kiss. You’re perfect Y/N. Just the way you are. Please remember that. I love you so much. We can overcome this baby, let me help you.” He says kissing my forehead.

its not mine but actually sorry but i dont know any ex other than kendall...