HAQ SE : JUZZBAATT

Chapter 2

''Trust'! 'Faith'! 'Belief'! have these words ceased to exist? Can't we trust someone without worrying about all negative things? Can't we lay our faith in someone? Belief, is it that difficult to believe someone today?',

thinks Meher resting on her bed.

She is fed up of crying.

He after doing the shameful offence, waited for her to fully gain back her consciousness. Then he dropped her to her home!

Meher having zero courage and strength after going through the most painful and life shattering event of her life, submitted to his decision of dropping her to her house. She obviously kept quiet throughout the ride to her home. Truth be told she didn't even know where she is going and with whom - the culprit!

Dropping her at the front of her home, he doesn't even care to make sure whether she reached inside her home properly or not, and he leaves, caring less about her.

What it took for her to cover the short distance to get inside her home, only she knows! The pain; the burning sensation don't seem to cease ever!
Bruised and hurt, Meher is completely shattered! Slowly she reaches her room making sure no one get hold of her. She needs time to calm down. She is not in a state to react. She wants to stay quiet and think about it. Accept it! Because acceptance is necessary for moving on with her life. But life? Does it even have any value for her right now?

Suicidal thought is out of the list because being a dotted daughter she can never betray the entrusted faith of her father. She cannot abandon her family! Despite the fact that her Ammi and Khala look after most of the family matters but that doesn't mean she is freed from all the responsibilities towards her family. In fact her getting matured much earlier than her age, binds her all the more to her family and becomes a restrain from trying suicidal attempts.

She cannot even share this incident with anyone! The reason is somewhat the same as to her not attempting suicide! And then, it's a shame isn't it? And also will they understand? From where would she start dictating? How much would she share and how much would she keep from them out of guilt and shame, she knows not!

She shuts her eyes tight in order to refrain her mind from stop thinking over and over again! Not just physically but she is mentally tired too. Taking a deep breath, the first thing she decides is to change her clothes. The clinging of the clothe to her skin is giving her a sense of disgust! She is going to discard this dress of hers, she decides! Slowly she walks to her cupboard, bringing out her white night dress she goes into the bathroom to change. She also needs to wash, it's burning like hell! She needs to take bath too, her mind is clouded with all dirty thoughts about herself and to think rationally, she needs to calm herself down. She knows bath will work for her!

Standing under the shower, she couldn't control herself any longer and bursts out into cry! And why won't she? She has all the rights to cry! To bring out all her pent up frustration! Anger? there is none! Because she is left with zero stamina to shower her anger on to the culprit! She knows even to think about him and boiling her blood out of anger for him; cursing him, needs stamina! At this moment she is in a state that if anyone pushes her a little, even with her or his finger, she might collapse on the floor! Because she is not only physically tortured but mentally broken too! Her mind at this moment is blank out of over thinking. She cries hard!

Turning off the shower, dressing up slowly she gets out of the bathroom. The constant burning sensation makes her to feel the urgency to use the washroom. Placing the changed dress and her towel on the bed, Meher gets into the washroom. After having washed, even after which the residue of burning sensation persists, she ends up crying again. Resting her back against the wall of the washroom, she slides down crying throughout, soundlessly.