You're My Home (completed)

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

"What the heck kind of line is that?" Rachel demanded.

"A good one," he responded in a cocky sort of way.

She wanted to smack that smile off his face. This was a serious time! They needed to discuss serious things—like the fact that he had wings, and that presumably he was an angel. Or, maybe he was some weird hybrid man-bird thing. Neither sounded easy to grasp. On second thought, maybe they shouldn't discuss anything. Maybe they shouldn't talk again ever. That would be a reasonable solution—just act like nothing happened.

Rachel miserably let her hands go limp on his chest as he held her to himself. There was no pretending this wasn't happening. She had questions, and from the expression he had worn earlier, Rachel presumed that Collin had questions, too.

"Why are you mad at me?" Collin asked starkly.

Rachel looked at him, his closeness making her thoughts unfocused. She felt his breath on her face as she said, "I'm not..."

His expression remained tense. "Are you afraid of me?"

She didn't know how to answer that. Of course she was afraid. But at the same time, with him she felt safer than she ever had in her life.

"Sort of," she admitted. "I don't know what to feel."

"Then just feel this." Collin's hands stroked her lower back, roaming the curve of her spine. The angel wings she wore were high enough that they didn't get in the way. He gripped the sides of her shirt where her hips were.

A few seconds passed before Collin whispered, "Breathe, Rachel."

Her lungs responded, and she remembered to perform the necessary action. "You shouldn't touch me like that," she said softly, though she wasn't really objecting.

"Like what?"

His mouth was so near to hers, Rachel had a hard time not staring at it.

"I'm not touching you wrongly," he stated. With a little grin he said, "You're not my wife yet."

This shocked her out of his spell. "What?"

His eyes were serious, and she found no humor in them. "You're my woman," he said matter-of-factly, his voice smooth.

Rachel had heard the same term in medieval-based romance novels, and knew that it meant something similar to 'girlfriend'.

"I never agreed to that." She was losing her patience. His embrace had suddenly changed from something desirable to a restraining, straight jacket. "I never agreed to any of this. Did you ever think that maybe I didn't want this? Did you ever think that maybe my life was crazy enough without you in it?"

His muscles stiffened. "I've always been in your life, whether you knew I was there or not."

She shook her head, backing away from him as much as he would allow. "What does that even mean?"

"I've protected you."

"I don't need protecting!"

Stillness settled over the room. Rachel glanced at the onlookers, realizing her voice had been louder than she'd thought. Tears surprised her, stinging her eyes. She pushed herself free, and he let her go. Rachel ran out the back door, sucking in chilly night air.

Collin was silently at her heels. She sensed he was there. Rachel put her palms to her eyes. Collin waited, knowing she had things to get off her chest.

"How can you say you've protected me all my life?"

He took a small step closer. "I was your guardian. I still am, I suppose, but just in a different way now."

"Don't tell me you're my guardian angel." Her tone was sarcastic and rough. She dropped her hands to her sides, pacing the gravel like a crazed person.

Collin was still, and she chanced a look at him. He wore that tense expression again, the one that creased the bridge of his nose, with his brows drawn together and his lips in a tight line.

"Is that what you are?" Rachel asked. "Are you an angel?" She stopped her pacing to wait for his response.

"Yes," he said after a pause.

Rachel scoffed, "Then where were you?"

Collin clenched his fists, understanding her meaning before she explained.

She slapped her hand to her chest. "He hurt me! Where were you when that happened, huh?"

The tears she'd been holding in let loose. Her cheeks were wet with them when the rain started. It merely trickled at first. Then the sky shook as thunder roared, sending a shower of water on them both.

Rachel kept eye contact. Collin was like a statue, unnervingly motionless.

"I asked you a question! Where were you?"

When he didn't answer, she stomped over to him and got in his face. Rain soaked them at this point. Rachel's angel wings began to fall apart.

"Answer me."

He stared at her, his cowboy hat shading his face from the rain and partially shading Rachel, too.

She was done with this. She was done being affected by his atmosphere. Done being sucked into the blues of his eyes. Done with these stupid, romance novel days. Done with the unthawing of her heart. As the walls rebuilt around her heart, they were reinforced by even more strength and determination.

Rachel shoved him with all her might, tired of his silence. He teetered back a little and that made Rachel somewhat satisfied with herself.

"Answer me!" Her voice cracked, her throat thick with emotion.

Collin leaned forward. Rachel clenched her fist, ready to punch him.

"I was there," he said invading her personal space. "I was always with you. That day I fought for you. I fought as hard as I could, but we just didn't have the power. I failed, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. I won't ever let him hurt you again."

Rachel's mind grimaced at the memories that came flooding in. She could see it like she was there once again. She could see the classroom, all the blinds drawn. She could see the darkly lit room and the professor with his video camera poised at her. She remembered his mocking words as he forced her to undress. Once she had, the insults came more frequently. Naked before him, she looked at the camera and imagined all the millions of people who might see this, gaining pleasure at her misfortune.

She'd had a crush on this particular professor. That was before he'd asked her to stay after class and locked the door. Trembling and unable to properly breathe, Rachel had lunged for the camera and knocked it off the stand. After smashing it under her bare foot, the processor beat her until so many parts of her body were bruised and broken, she was in pain everywhere. Thankfully, beating her senseless was the only thing he did. Two months later he was sent to jail. Rachel never told anyone about the incident until he was locked away and couldn't hurt her family like he'd threatened. Apparently three other young women testified against him, their stories worse than Rachel's.

Rachel didn't know she was trembling until she came back to reality. Collin's hands were holding her face. His thumbs brushed her cheek bones.

"Do you hear me?" he was saying. "I'm here. I'm here."

"Don't leave me," she whispered quietly, still dazed.

Collin seemed to soften at this. He sighed in relief. And then cautiously, he moved in.

Rachel lifted her head to make his reach easier. His lips pressed to hers with a tenderness that made Rachel give a little moan.

The memories of that day with the professor faded away. She hadn't intended to kiss Collin, or to let him kiss her. But Collin was her safe place—her home. And there was nowhere else she'd rather be, than here with him.