F*ck Me (Modern Cliches, #2)

The Internal Dilemma

In which I have a moral dilemma about my unholy bed buddy and the tasks ahead of us. And of course I need to have this internal discussion at work because a girl still needs to pay the bills.

I don't have one of the obsidian or whatever credit cards that Maz has. Seriously. I want one. It has no limit.

*sighs* A girl can only wish.

~~~~

I had been surprised at how easy it had been for me to leave early in the morning. Maz had been curled up on the couch, amid the various sections of rope that he had been playing with last night. I wasn't going to lie, I had been a little surprised he hadn't tried to get me to 'lift my skirt' as he had been fond of saying. He had been intent upon putting various metal rings onto the ends of his rope.

I had been surprised at how disappointed I was that he was so intent on his little rope project. I was getting fairly fucking positive that my large ass demon husband had a rope fetish. I shifted on my feet, leaning my chin against my palm as I huffed out a sigh. I hadn't gotten any last night and I wasn't supposed to want to have sex with him but damn. I kind of missed him being all touchy feely, using all of of his sexual appeal on me at all times.

I had slept in my room, alone, while he had stayed in the living room. What had been worse was Sibby had joined him. I was feeling a little petulant about that. I had been used to sleeping with my kitty cat so the fact she chose the hell spawn over me made me feel a little miffed. Cut off from my cat and sex? What was a prudish librarian to do with herself?

"If I didn't know you any better, I would think you were avoiding me." Brenda sidled up to me and I ground my teeth together, I had been avoiding her.

"Been really busy." There had been a lot of books left laying out everywhere and a lot of people that had been wanting help.

"I know." Brenda gave a slow nod before leaning against the front desk beside me. "So tell me... who is your new man?" There was an edge of excited expectation to her voice. I couldn't blame her for that. He was beautifully crafted. The thought just seemed to make my mood tank even worse.

"His name is Maz. Met him at a bar and he followed me home." I stood up fully, crossing my arms over my chest as I gave a heaving sigh. I was having a dilemma and not because of the murder. I was ignoring that entirely at the moment. No, my dilemma was the fact that I was getting attached.

"He seemed to like you a fair bit." She was looking at me, I could feel her gaze on me. "You two get better acquainted with each other this weekend?" She was smirking, I knew she was. "Intimately acquainted, perhaps?" At that I gave a small but forced chuckle.

"Funnily enough, I'm still a virgin." I glanced at her and she gave me a heavy look of disbelief that I did my best to ignore.

"You do realize that any form of sexual conduct negates your virginity, right?" She narrowed her eyes at me and I shrugged.

"I am well aware but don't worry, my chastity is intact." Well according to Maz's definition I was all good. I honestly preferred that definition than the standard one. Perhaps it was the slightly spiteful part of me that liked the thought that all of women's troubles were due to men. I mean just look at history. Every shitty thing that happened to women was totally due to men. I just liked that I was vindicated in thinking that. At least to a point.

"How the hell did you manage to not bang the weekend away with him?" She gave me an incredulous look and I shrugged. I didn't really want to have this conversation with her because it was giving me that skeezy feeling again. I didn't like being reminded about any of it. I was getting attached and that was the worst possible thing. It also made me realize just how stupid I was.

"I have boundless self-control." I couldn't help the sarcasm that burned as it came out but Brenda waved me off.

"That boy looks at you like you are everything to him." She gave a slight huff and I wanted to snort and roll my eyes. I was everything to him. I was a four course meal that he got to feed off of. He would literally starve without me. That didn't mean he wanted to be with me, however. As he said, we were in an unholy union brought on my pretend painted lady ways.

"He is..." I didn't know how to respond to that. I couldn't tell her the truth. He was a demon. He was a sex demon. He was big and distractedly attractive and utterly adorable when he talked to my cat.

He was my husband.

The big lug of a guy who rocked my world and gave me so many orgasms that I sometimes couldn't feel my legs afterwards, was my husband. The big old sex demon who was old enough to know Lucifer and who made fun of angels, was my fucking husband. Pun intended.

And I liked that he was.

"No need to respond. I can see it on your face." Brenda patted my shoulder with a grin and I felt a frown appear on my own face. "I need to do some filing, we can talk more tomorrow." She walked away and I glowered at the top of the front desk.

"Way to get attached, dumbass." I hissed the words at myself. It was stupid to get attached, especially after two days. Maz wanted to leave, he made that clear. We were going to go full out Dexter on someone's ass in order for him to do so.

There was literally no point in getting attached to him because he wanted to leave. He was forced to be with me for fuck's sake. I didn't want to be the asshole who begged him to stay because of the awesome sex and his sinful good looks. I felt shallow and dirty at the thought. He had a life before me, yes it was banging chicks to death, but he probably was used to it and maybe even missed it.

I was fucking with the status quo. It was no wonder he wanted to get away from me as quickly as he could.

I heaved out a sigh, doing my best to ignore the hurt. It was nearly time to go and I didn't want to go back to the apartment and have Maz question me about my morose attitude about our weird and unholy relationship. I didn't want to admit to him that I was really really partial to him sticking around. How pathetic would it be? Prudish little Ethel telling a sex demon, who had more than likely banged much hotter chicks than me, that she wanted to keep him around because she liked him.

"Lust is not like or love." I muttered the words to myself. I needed to remind myself of that. I lusted after him because he was, quite frankly, the fucking bomb at sex. I didn't have much to go off of in the way to knowledge but I didn't need a lot of knowledge to know that he should be called a sex god rather than a sex demon.