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Only Ishqbaaaz, Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Aise Bhi, Swasan and Manan...
Title: So the title of the story is - The Shivika story. Not to be rude, but what kind of title is this? I know this is Shivika fan fiction that's why I am reading it [speaking as a reader]. There's no appeal to the title so it's my suggestion you change it. Cover doesn't matter but the title does.
Description: The description can pass as okay. Key word being: okay. I suggest you make a bit of changes in it so it highlights the plot. And if you don't want to change it then use correct punctuation.
➸Error 1: She is the one. It's incorrect when you use she is one.
➸Error 2: We fight, we argue but we are always together.
➸Error 3: Excuse me for not knowing but what is manaofy?
➸Error 4: Whenever she gets angry, she throws water at me. [I fail to understand why was this necessary to include this point? What sense does it make in attracting the reader?]
Use of Punctuation Marks: I am severely disappointed here. Punctuation are a really important part of any writing be it a essay, notice, novel or anything. When you don't use punctuation marks correctly, it doesn't give the right vibe. You see, we all are quick to judge. The thought that will cross most people's mind is if this writer doesn't know how to use punctuation then what can I even expect from this story!
➸ Exclamation mark [!]: Punctuation should always be used once. Never ever use punctuation more than once. And why do you write like this: An¡r¡. Seriously don't do this.
➸ Ellipsis [...]: So this has been used wrongly many times through out the story. Ellipsis consists of just three full stops [period]. And you have used around 5-6 full stops, which is grammatically incorrect.
Perspectives: For starters, I think you should write in third person's perspective. But if you don't want to write in that way then well I have a couple of advises for you. First, when you switch between Shivaay and Anika's POV then make them as separate chapters. Mention whose POV it is in capital letters.
Show or tell: As a writer, your job is to make a person feel emotions. Be it anger, sadness, happiness or whatever. So it is important that you don't show the reader it happened, you tell it. How you may ask. Simple enough. I'll give you an example from your very own story.
➸ Example: Do I love him? I don't know if it is a romantic type of love or friendship kind of love. He was very important to me and I would surely go to earth's end for him. My mind reeled back to all the memories we had created together, of the arguments, pranks and many more. A warmth blossomed in the very pit of my stomach. It was the kind that dazed you.
I guess, maybe he's something more... more than a friend.
I do love him.
This, my darling, is called telling. What you did was show. It was so abrupt. Listen honey, you said that she argued with herself. So tell the readers, what kind of argument? I mean it's only fair.
Pictures: I beg you, please don't use them. It's awful when you are reading and suddenly a picture pops up. Kindly describe it.
Plot: Honestly, there's nothing unique in it. It's kind of over used plot but who am I to judge?! With a little bit of twists and turns in clichés, the plot can be great. All you need to do is, take care of the basics. I swear once you take care of certain things, you will improve.
Overall: Okay read. Still needs very much work.
A/N- Wohooo! I am back. And I cant believe this review is written by me. It's like so organised. I'm proud of it. And dear author please do tag your friends and click on the star button or comment so I know you have checked the review. The latter would be very much appreciated.
