2.O version of the Review Book. This time around, the reviews are much better and more clear. No fluff reviews and honest opinion. So if you want a honest feedback on your work, sign up.
Only Ishqbaaaz, Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Aise Bhi, Swasan and Manan...
Description: The description perfectly gave me an insight to the story. But there are a few corrections to be made.
First, go and capitalize the proper nouns.
Second, in the second sentence, it's world's not worlds. Similarly, it's doesn't in the fourth sentence rather than doesnt.
Third, in the third paragraph add the helping verb ‘is’ after Anika. It wouldn't have been necessary, had this sentence been like this–Anika, a girl with big dreams, every guy's sweetheart, charming and beautiful, lives for herself. But since you have added who before lives, a helping verb is necessary. Also, remember you have already told us she's a girl with big dreams so you needn't to tell us again that she's a beautiful girl. Once is enough.
Title: Don't use all caps in the title since caps means yelling in the virtual world. So if you see, it's like yelling 'WILL I EVER GET HER?' on the top of your lungs.
Prologue: Try to write a prologue. A prologue is basically a short snippet from a story; a scene that will attract the readers. So if you want, add that in your next book or when if you edit this.
Punctuation: The punctuation are almost okay, it's not that bad. It's good actually. But there are a few things you need to keep in mind.
➸ Exclamation mark: When using exclamation, use it once, not twice, not thrice.
➸ Capitalization: As you know proper nouns should always be capitalized so go and correct them now. The first letter of proper noun should always be capitalized.
➸ Commas: Joining sentence is necessary but remember two compound sentences cannot be joined by a comma.
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See this one, you basically joined all the sentence together which made it a bit messy. It could have been written like this–
Shivaay tapped his foot on the ground, being all restless. He closed his eyes for a while and then he heard the doorbell ringing. Leaving everything behind, he ran to open the door. He was awestruck...
The rest is correct :)
Dialouge: While writing dialogues add punctuation before closing the inverted commas.
Overall: It's a great read. All you need to do is edit it slightly. And this review turned out to be really crappy, I know what I wanted to write but it just won't come out into words. Hope you understand what I wanted to convey though.
