➸ Game On [Ishqbaaaz]

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I should be doing my research.

➸Game On!

Author: Being_devil

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Author: Being_devil

Title: The title is nice since it gives insight to your story. It's connected to the plot so I think it's the best the way it is.

Description: The description was simple and nice. But I do think it could be a bit better.

Format: Have you ever heard or read a dialogue story? It's a nice concept when done nicely and I think it would suit the way it is written. I'll give you a bit of an example how you write a dialogue story. Okay?

The problem with the way you have written is that it's neither actually narrative nor dialogue completely. It's kinda stuck in the middle. So let me explain what I'm talking.

➸ Example of dialogue story:

Anika | Shivaay

"This girl is a walking-talking anger machine. Wherever she goes, she takes her anger with her."

"The guy is walking Tadi machine. Wherever he goes, he takes his Tadi with him."

"Why did she have to break plates? Is this even a way of showing anger!"

"Why was he staring and murmuring something when I was breaking plates. It's pretty normal for me! When I can't express my anger in words, my actions do it."

"She never thinks anything before saying. Mai apni saas rok lungi. Huh, doesn't even have the guts to do it."

So if you write like this - which is how you write a dialogue story - then you will have to use different fonts to describe different characters. Like here above, I used bold for Anika and simple for Shivaay. So I didn't have to mention it every time. And in the beginning I stated what their fonts were.

And if you write like this, you will have to make narrative chapters separate. For example, even if the dialogue chapter is short, post it. Then post the narrative chapter as a separate chapter. By the way, to know more about this, I recommend to you my fav wattpad dialogue books. 'The Menstruation Hotline' and 'Miss Delivery Girl', these are the most amazing books. Check these out, you won't be disappointed.

Or you can write in narration but then you can't write dialogues in between. Okay?

Punctuation marks: So most of the punctuation were okay but I did see where you went wrong. When you write in quotation mark, then you have to put a comma or period sign before closing it.

➸ Example: "She's everything I have ever wished for,"

Or

"The way he says that he will never leave my side has my heart fluttering."

Tense: A single tense was not maintained through out the narration. When you start writing anything, choose your tense. Either write in past or present. You switched in tenses and that's wrong. Only facts should be written in present.

And even when you are writing things like love in a past tense story then you can't write I love him. It will always be written as I loved him.

Plot: It's something I have actually read before but it's not that common. I like the pranks, the dares and everything Shivika did. It was cute and adorable imagining them challenging each other. Shivaay, well, he, as always was very much conceited. He's so cocky but boy, do I love cocky characters. So it was nice reading this book.

Overall: A nice read but my inner self can see you doing better in future. And just a little tip, if writing in narrative format, do add more intricate details.

Also, please vote or comment so I know you have read this. And tag your friends if you have time!

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