2.O version of the Review Book. This time around, the reviews are much better and more clear. No fluff reviews and honest opinion. So if you want a honest feedback on your work, sign up.
Only Ishqbaaaz, Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Aise Bhi, Swasan and Manan...
Title: The title may or may not have reminded me of my first love. No, don't get it wrong. My first love was, well, it was sizzler brownie, so yeah... Okay? I'm gonna go now. It was a nice title though.
Description: The description was cool. It was really nice with a hint of mystery to it. See it was great what you had written but then you repeated it in the first part of the story. So to avoid this repetition, I suggest you let the first part remain as it is but change the description. Make it short and intriguing.
When Anika Rathode is tied in the sacred bond of marriage with Shivaay Singh Oberoi, she doesn't know what turn her life will take.
Is it going to be the her life will turn boring or will some sizzling love along with spicy romance happen? The only the thing sure in this mismatched wedding of Anika and Shivaay is that her life is never going to be the same again.
I don't know what the heck I wrote and why I even wrote this. But whatever. Let's move on.
Cover: I'm sorry but I don't like your recent cover. It's too flashy and doesn't suit my taste. I am a sucker for simple covers and u really liked the second cover that you had attached is the second part of the book.
Dialogues: The dialogues were nice but you gotta take care of one thing. The way you ended it was off. See, you wrote Stated her father when it could have easily been written like her father stated. It's easier to read that way. Don't get it wrong, write like that too but not always. Try to avoid this, yeah?
Punctuation: Of course, the most important part of any writing. So let's begin with where you went wrong in the usage of this.
➸ Question mark [?]: You used the punctuation, question mark more than once. Which is incorrect. I know you probably did it to give emphasis, which we all do but that's informal writing. You usually do that in texting. So if you want to give emphasis on something then use italics. Here's an example – "You all what?" Anika said, horrified.
➸ Comma [,]: While you have used this fairly well, you did make mistakes. The one I noticed one the first part itself is this one—"..." Spoke her maa, making it clear that she had to meet him. So see, you have to add a comma after a tag. A few examples are given below.
→ "I hate you," I said, my voice thick with pain.
→ "You are so stupid,"Shivaay mused, his lips curving into a smile.
So the underlined ones are the tags and after each tag there is a comma.
➸ Ampersand [&]: Lol, even I didn't exactly know how to use this one till a few months ago. I got to know this when I was reading articles about grammar, writing etc. I used to use this one randomly in the place of 'and' which I now realize has been such a great mistake. But well, getting back, ampersand cannot be used in the place of and randomly. Use it when you are writing titles or joining something. Like the title of a story is The Nerd & The Dork or Rock & Roll. So yeah, it's used like that. Where I noticed is in the first part. You used your family & I which is incorrect.
Usage of Images: Not to be offensive but I don't like it when people add pictures and cut on the description part. If you want to add pictures, do it but at least describe it. It is really important. You can't forget that the key is don't show, tell. So like when you need to describe clothes, do it nicely so one can picture it clearly in their heads.
Tenses: Do not switch between past and present. It's very infuriating. Select one tense and then stick to it throughout the story. Your story was written in past so write in that only. Don't wander to present tense. Even if it is very recent action, it will be written in PAST. NO MATTER WHAT!
Grammar: There were a few mistakes that I spotted but didn't really had the time to comment. So sorry. And yeah, a little bit of editing will do.
Emoji: Stop using them. They are the worst part of your book. Do not take emoticons help to describe. Do the actual thing. You can't be lazy when writing. Take your time but do your best.
Format: Don't suddenly change to script like form. If you are writing in dialogue out of nowhere, it's very... repulsive? I guess that's the word for it.
Overall: I think with more effort you can do far better. Remember, don't stop. And I hope whatever the crap I wrote will help.
