hurt | reddie

twenty - six

10 - 20 - 1989

dear diary,

it's been a long time since i've written on here - sorry about that. a lot of stuff happened while i was gone.

it was seven in the morning when sonia headed to the room where eddie was.

"you're allowed to go outside now."

eddie slowly stood up from the floor. his skin was pale and his eyes were rimmed red. there were also dark bags under his eye; as a result of not sleeping at all.

"thank you mommy." the tiny boy said quietly.

eddie's mother said nothing in return.

he then walked towards his room. everything looked the same as before - of course it would! it was only one night.

we're going to move out of derry today. i really want to say goodbye to the losers one last time. i can't do it though - because i already did one month ago.

"eddie!" sonia called.

"yes mommy?" eddie replied while going down the stairs.

once he reached the floor, he immediately walked towards his mother. sonia was sitting on the chair. it had a floral design and was color pink; or brown; or whatever. eddie had been living in the same house his whole life - but for some reason, he couldn't discern the color of the damn chair.

"go buy your medicines from the pharmacy down the street. you are not allowed to do anything else. do i make myself clear?"

"yes mommy."

sonia gave eddie money and a list. as he was about to walk out the door, his mother cleared her throat.

"aren't you forgetting something eddie-bear?"

eddie quickly went to his mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

i miss my friends a lot; i haven't seen them for ages. mommy banned me from going outside. well, not exactly. i'm only allowed to go to the pharmacy. so i still basically go outside - but that's the only thing i'm allowed to do.

as eddie was walking to the pharmacy, the 'losers' spotted him.

"eddie!" they called him repeatedly.

he whipped his head in different directions and tried to find where the sound was coming from. when he saw them, the losers ran towards him and engulfed him in a big hug.

"we missed you!" beverly exclaimed.

"me too!" everyone said simultaneously.

after everyone let go of eddie, richie hugged him again. they didn't want to let go of each other.

"i missed you so much," eddie sobbed. "but we can't keep on doing this."

"what?" richie froze.

"this richie. you know what i mean."

the losers gasped audibly. everyone was confused.

"i don't really want to say this - but i have to. for my sake and for everyone else's." eddie let go of richie.

"i love all of you - but i'm not allowed to see you guys anymore."

"eddie, are you really just going to give up?" said mike.

"i tried - i really did." eddie replied. "i'm sorry." his voice cracked at the end.

"but eddi-" richie was cut off.

"i'm sorry but i can't."

eddie walked away from his family while crying. he never wanted to leave them - but it had to be done. he didn't want to get punished again.

i regret everything i said to them. i regret everything i did. i can't forget richie's face when i walked away. everything we did was a waste.

richie ran towards eddie. he turned the brown haired boy around and looked him in the eyes.

"eddie, you can't do this."

"i'm pretty sure if you were in my place right now, you would."

"what about us? what about-"

"i'm sorry richie i just-" eddie removed the tall boy's hands from his shoulders. "i just have to do this okay?"

"everything was a waste then." richie was was crying. tears streamed down his red blotchy face. "i hate you eddie kaspbrak."

eddie turned around once again and walked away. he was crying too. people stared at him - but he didn't care.

i'll never forget what he said to me that day. i know i deserve it - but it just hurts so much.

anyway, i have to go. i don't really want to remember what happened. plus, mommy is calling me and making her mad is the last thing i want to do.

eddie.

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it's over!! thank you for the support again :^) i'm v sorry if there are any grammatical errors jfjsnf i skimmed through it p qUicK aaaa. btw,, uhhh,, y'all can ask the characters rn :^) i'll post their answers when they all get questions. after that, the book will be done - for real. i hope you all have a gr8 day!!

trec 🌈