DeVante's InHERmission

Daddy Issues (10)

"That's a wraaaaap for today and that is a wrap for Ivyyyy!" The director, Evan, yelled on set. I blushed as my cast mates cheered for me. This was a bittersweet moment. After filming for three months, I completed my very last scene (courtesy of  a very elegant death). That wasn't how it was originally supposed to end but I was on the tail end of six months with this pregnancy and I'd finally started showing instead of just looking like I'd eaten too much In-n-Out Burger. At this point, Evan couldn't hide it with anymore camera tricks or extra props; it just wasn't in our production budget so we agreed to kill me off. I still got paid our agreed amount of money though so I was cool.

Everyone hugged me and wished me well, demanding I have a get together after the baby was born so I could show them off. I hadn't planned on crying but I did. Ah, the joys of pregnancy. Who wouldn't want to lose complete control of their hormones and be emotional about goodbyes...or a pop tart? All for the sake of motherhood. Yay!

I was a mess when I saw they'd all pitched in and bough me a sheet cake that had "Congrats on your bun in the oven" written in yellow frosting. A few people had even bought me cute little gifts for the baby. I still didn't know the sex of little one so some of the things were gender neutral colors but Nicole, the actual lead actress in the film, insisted I was having a girl and had gotten me a set of pink and white newborn onesies. That was wishful thinking. The way this kid moved around, it had to be a boy.

It was nice to be around people who genuinely cared about my situation, even if I didn't see them again until we worked on another film, they cared. It was like a breath of fresh air, especially since the past few months had been filled with drama and stress.

Dyana's outburst was definitely captured by someone at the restaurant that shitty day and best believe they sent it to all the gossip blogs. Users on Lipstick Alley were ruthless, the way they talked about De and I, spinning their own lies; that De was broke and washed up so how did he get a young woman pregnant?; a lot of people were certain I was just trying to make a name for myself since I was an aspiring actress. Really, by having a whole baby? I don't roll like that and I never will. For the most part, I learned to ignore a lot of the bullshit. I stayed away from social media at all costs and I rarely went out anymore. I was dealing with it just fine until the internet started bad mouthing my unborn child and I was ready to bust heads. Had even gotten into a couple of verbal altercations while grocery shopping cause folks wanted to jump stupid just cause they felt like they could.

That was the last straw. That landed me in the hospital for a couple of days, due to high blood  pressure and I knew I had to be as off the grid as much as possible if me and this kid were going to make it through this pregnancy, to meet each other.

De insisted I move in with him and I gladly did. I was a whole mess after everything with Dyana and the media kicking me while I was down. De was used to it and he knew how to brush it off for the most part but his own daughter telling him she hated him really fucked with him. He needed me just as much I needed him so we did what we felt was necessary. THAT'S  when things started to look up. I now completely understood why he lived so far out on property miles from anyone else. It was necessary for his sanity, and now for mine too.

I hung around the set a little longer, snapping pictures with the cast and chatting before I finally headed out to make this two hour drive home. His home was my home now and honestly, it felt so right.

I sat in my car for a minute, checking my text messages. I had a missed call from my mom and a slew of texts from De, Justin, and Paige. They were the ones I talked to the most these days, aside from my family. It was crazy how my relationships with people could flip flop all from this one event.

Seven months ago, Dy and my two friends back home were my main confidants and now I barely spoke to them. Dy still hated me with every fiber of her being, I assumed and my other two friends, Ariel and Brittany, straight up told me they didn't agree with my decisions; that I'd fucked up (as if I already didn't know that). However,  they promised to still be around but I knew that was a lie, at least on Brittany's end. You learn who your real friends are when you have a baby. Ariel had just recently had her own baby so she knew what I was feeling but Brittany wasn't  trying to be bothered with baby talk and baby clothes and my talk about motherhood or why I couldn't visit her and hang out. She wanted to live her life, free of responsibility and she could do that. Go right ahead.