Screw Off, Ross |A Ryan Ross Fanfic|

Say Amen (Saturday Night)

Wow, okay, so this chapter is twenty times more intense if you listen to the song while reading the chapter.

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"What the hell do you want?" My words exuded venom.

"A second chance." His voice gave off the impression that he had been crying.

"Why should I?" I was feeling good about myself and then you call, goddamn it!

"Because I messed up." He was still crying.

"No, you've messed up enough. You've already broken my heart twice today, and I'm not up for that anymore. Ryan, please do what's best for both of us and get out of my life." I felt tears creeping up my throat.

"Please (Y/N), I love you-" he pleaded, and I cut him off.

"No, shut the fuck up, Ryan. I want you to leave me alone, you've caused me enough pain today. Go back to your girly screw toy and leave me alone." I felt my blood beginning to heat up.

"But-" he began, but I cut him off again.

"No, you listen to me. If you really loved me, you wouldn't hurt me. I'm done Ryan, done. I thought you were the greatest guy in the world, but boy did you disprove that theory pretty quickly. I want you to leave me alone, Ross." I said feeling completely done with his drama.

"Please (Y/N), will you be my girlfriend?" He said quickly.

"No, I'm dating Brent Wilson, you had you're chance and you blew it." I hung up before he could say anything else.

I found myself crying over him, once again. I missed the way I felt when he touched me, I missed his lips, the sweet scent that seemed to surround him, the deep tone of his voice, his gorgeous singing, and the amazing feelings I felt for him. More importantly, I missed him. He made me the happiest girl in the world, and yet he still broke my heart. I felt so done with love because of him, I was seventeen I shouldn't feel like I've been there and done that. No, heartbreak should still feel like a new sensation even in my forties, and he ruined that for me. That night, I stayed up with Beverly, she came over and we just ate junk food and had a girl's night. It was the most liberating thing I'd ever done. If Ryan wanted to hurt me, he could because that Saturday night I felt invincible. No one could break me and even if they tried to, it wouldn't work. I couldn't be touched by my worldly problems any longer.

Or so I thought.

(Ryan's POV)

Of course I felt bad for leaving (Y/N) at the party, but she really hurt me when she left me standing there. I was going to tell her that I was joking and that I really did love her, but she stormed off before I could say anything. When I went back to my car a girl asked if I could give her a ride home, I agreed to taking her home, but one thing lead to another and we had sex. It was horrible. The only girl I could ever truly be pleasured by is (Y/N), I just needed something to get the frustration off my chest. We had sex again in the morning because I was still half asleep and I was used to (Y/N) lying next to me. My dad told me that she stopped by and stormed out crying, I felt so bad that I didn't eat all day. I still haven't eaten, I don't feel like I deserve it. Then I called her and she called me out on my wrongs, I cried after that too. I felt like a horrible person because I was. I love (Y/N) and I ruined any chance of her reciprocating my feelings. I hate myself for hurting her, she was my everything and I hurt her. She needed me this morning, and what was I doing? Screwing around. I ruined an amazing relationship, or at least a chance at one, all because of a fucking dumbass joke. I'm horrible, I always felt horrible but at least I had a good enough reason to now. I deserve the hate she feels towards me, I don't much blame her for it either, she has every right to hate me. I miss her so much, though. I want to hold her and tell her how sorry I am. I want to kiss her and fix all of this. Oh my god, I'm such an idiot. Kissing her won't fix this, I need to prove how much I love her. The truth is, I really do, I want her to be mine. I want to hold her and never let go, I want to kiss her and never pull away, I want to love her without worry that I'm breaking her. I want to give her the love and happiness she deserves. I never want to hurt her because she deserves every bit of happiness the world has to offer. I want to text her, but she's probably already blocked my number, I'd do that if I were her. I want to hear the sweet ring of her voice resonating in my ears, I want to feel her lips find a place on mine, her sweet heart to be one with mine which beats for her. I know it sounds cheesy, but I want (Y/N) and only (Y/N).

She's the only girl I can truly love, and I lost her.

A/N

Did I not mention that I had something big planned? Have these past few chapters not been intense? I'm sorry that this one was short, but in my defense I did write eight chapters in one day. I'm really proud of this book, but a warning there will be triggers in the twelfth chapter.

Love you lots tater tots!
~Morgan~