Not My Alpha (Completed)

Chapter Fifty-Eight - Too Good

Song: Labrinth - Jealous 

***

I had never owned a dress. They were impractical, expensive, and too much for me to handle. There were never any events that I had to attend in which I would have to wear a dress, either. There was nothing in my life that would warrant such lavish attire; at least, not until today. 

The red material of the dress flowed down my body in comfortable waves. It was loose fitting with small straps that dangled precariously on my shoulders. Despite my unease in the item of clothing, I was comfortable. The material was soft and I finally had shoes that weren't aged beyond their years. 

When Samuel first showed me what I'd be expected to wear to the funeral, I was more than tempted to scream at his audacity. He found the situation humorous, telling me that my reaction was exactly what he expected. Then, he laid out a perfectly planned argument, explaining all the reasons I would be expected to wear the dress. Eventually, there was nothing I could do but agree with him. 

That was last night. Like he'd promised, he brought down dinner and a plethora of information. Plans were finalized, supplies were packed, and everything was set in place. Everything was ready to send Will, Raven, and I on our journey to freedom. At least, everything was ready physically. My mental preparation was still in process. I'd spent the entire day attempting to sort through that mess. 

I'd been confined to my room to begin the ruse that I was ill. Will's room had been emptied, and he'd been relocated to one of the lower basement rooms; the ones no one ever bothered to visit. During my time alone, there was nothing to do but think; however, it never resulted in anything. I had meant to sort through my thoughts and emotions, but now, when I was merely a few minutes away from entering the lion's den, I was more confused than ever. My heart and mind were at war with one another, and each was competing to be heard the loudest. 

Things had changed from when I first met Samuel. In some aspects, it seemed like my entire life had changed. I realized that I no longer blamed Samuel for anything that happened, though it was difficult not to blame his species. The longer I thought about that, the more I couldn't decide if there was anything separating the two. Samuel was a wolf and I was a human. The two were never meant to mix. 

Then again, they had been mixed before. The impossible reality of two opposing species joining together had been accomplished by none less than Samuel's family. His mother and father could have set the precedence for our races to coexist, but instead, another wall was built when they were torn apart. This was a wall that I couldn't decide if I wanted to break down. 

Thoughts like these, and countless more along the same lines, filled my head until I wanted to scream. There was no winning. There was no peace in the midst of my inner turmoil, and I didn't think there ever would be.

A knock sounded at the door, ripping me from my day of self-pity. I hurriedly ducked back under the countless thick blankets on my bed, ignoring the immediate heat that enveloped my body. Before I could close my eyes to feign sleep, the bedroom door was eased open and Samuel entered. 

"You nearly scared me to death," I laughed, pulling the blankets down and sitting up. "I didn't know it was you."

He smirked, hovering just inside the doorway. "I told you that no one else would be coming down here."

"Yeah, well, you never know."

Samuel laughed once and tilted his head. "That's true." He glanced at his wrist. "Are you ready? It's about time to head up."

I nodded and pushed away from the blankets, slipping out of the bed that had become my only safe haven. When I turned back to Samuel, I stopped short, looking at him for the first time that night.